


But What We Make

by hunters_retreat



Category: Supernatural, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, December Drabble Days, M/M, Sibling Incest, Uncle/Nephew Incest, Underage Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-10
Updated: 2011-06-10
Packaged: 2018-01-06 23:37:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 39,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1112856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Connor sent a simple message across time. His choice changed the history of the world, but it wasn't the only thing he sent across time. For Sarah Connor, he sent a son. For John Winchester he created the perfect partner. For three brothers, Dean, Sam, and JC, he brought a hope that the future could be changed. Because the Winchester boys knew the truth. If there was no fate but what they made, they were gonna go down swinging.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

 

 

The night air was cool and sweet and finally, he thought as he stepped up to the front door of his apartment, didn’t hold the fear that had punctuated his childhood.  He was too tired to be tripping over monster lore and legends.  It’d been four years since he’d left home to go to Stanford and Sam Winchester was done with that life.  Some nights it was easier to remember than others.

It wasn’t that he hated the hunt.  He might have hated the things his life had become while they were hunting, but he didn’t hate the hunt itself.  He didn’t hate his family either, no matter how much his current friends thought he did.  Sam didn’t talk about his family and what little he did say had always been misconstrued and Sam let the misconceptions lie.    His family was an ache too close to his heart to bring up with a group of people that would always – always, he never lied to himself about that – be strangers.  His heart filled with the loneliness at times but he’d learned to hold the emotions off, to keep it at bay.  He didn’t have a choice.  It’d been four years since his father had told him to get out and never come back.  Two years since he’d talked to his older brother, Sam begging Dean to stop checking up on him.  He loved Dean with everything in him, but he was never gonna let go of that life so long as Dean was hovering just out of sight.

Sam had moved on once Dean gave him that.  He was getting ready for law school in the fall and he was living with a beautiful woman, someone who smiled and laughed and never tried to protect him from danger.  Someone who needed him to be strong and mature and loved that he enjoyed reading and took his studies seriously.

Jessica was perfect for him, for all those reasons, and because in her infinite wisdom, she let him keep his past to himself.  She never asked about John or Dean and never tried to listen in when he took calls from JC. 

His little brother was the only link he still had to his family.  JC was two years younger than him, smarter than hell, but still touring the country with John and Dean.  He knew why JC did and Sam hoped, every single damn time he got a call from him, that they’d finally found JC’s mother.  Each time JC hung up, Sam had to take ten minutes to get himself back together and pray it wasn’t the last time he heard from him.

The porch swing on the front patio of their rented duplex swayed quietly with the breeze but as Sam looked at the movement he noticed the front window slightly ajar.  An tiny opening in the window wouldn’t have meant something to anyone else but Sam knew when he’d walked out earlier - Jess already in bed but Sam needing to head out to an all-night diner to get some studying done - that he’d made sure all the windows and doors were locked and salted.

He put his key in the lock and dropped his backpack just outside the door so he’d have both hands ready.  When he pushed the door open, the apartment was silent.  He closed the door behind him to make sure nothing could sneak up behind him.  He crept through, room by room, until he was standing by the bedroom.  The door was open and he could see Jess lying in bed.  He nearly dropped to his knees as he saw the dark stains spattered across their pillows, the unnatural way her body was settled across the mattress.

“Jess?” he said her name softly, praying for her to answer though he already knew she wouldn’t.  A lifetime of hunting had shown him too many corpses to mistake what he was seeing.  He let out a sob, unable to move as he stared at the woman he loved, the woman he’d planned on spending the rest of his life with.  She’d never known all of him, but she had accepted that and Sam, resilient as ever, had decided that was enough for him.  He would never be as passionately in love with her as she was with him, but she was everything he’d ever dreamed was possible.

He was too far in his grief so the press of cold metal against his forehead startled him.  He hadn’t heard Jessica’s murderer moving towards him. 

The voice was cold and hard, feminine but with an odd accent he couldn’t quite place.  “Where is John Connor?”

His grief started to turn towards anger because he knew that voice.  He’d heard it once before, six years ago when she’d tried to kill his little brother.

“Why did you kill Jess?” he demanded instead.

“So that was her name.  Just think of her death as mercy sweet heart.  She won’t have to live through Judgment Day.”

He swung, wild and frantic, his mind grasping onto three things: she had killed Jess, she was most likely responsible for Sarah going missing, and she was going to try to kill JC again.  The bullet missed Sam but even as he rolled away from the crazy woman, she held up a lighter and smiled into the flames.  “I know you won’t bring me to Connor, so we’ll just see if we can bring him to you.”

She dropped the lighter and Sam didn’t realize she’d been busy in his absence, spreading accelerant onto the floor of their apartment.  Flame spread quickly across the room and Sam lunged at her.  She dodged but he managed to get his fingers in her long dark hair, pulled her back towards him.  She was tiny, a little slip of a china doll with her dark, slanted eyes, and full red lips, but she knew how to fight.  She jammed her elbow into Sam’s stomach and he let go of her.  When she spun around he knocked the gun from her hands and she lashed out, fingernails raking over his face. 

He screamed in pain but he knocked her to the floor with a leg sweep.  She fell hard and he was on top of her.  “Who the hell are you?” he asked, ignoring the way sweat trickled down his spine as the flames around them grew higher.  “What do you want with John Connor?  What did you do with Sarah?”

She smiled up at him and Sam knew she would never tell him anything.  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She forced her knees up between them, kicking up and knocking Sam on his side.  Before he could catch her, she was throwing herself out the front bay window.  Smoke poured through the window but even as Sam watched the escaping fumes, he was turning back to try to get to Jessica.  The flames roared around him and he couldn’t get more than a step or two in before the heat was too much.  He choked back a sob, lungs searing from the smoke, and then took a step away, jumping out of the same window as Jessica’s murderer. 

He rolled on the grass and there were already a handful of people standing in the street, the wail of sirens coming closer in the background.  The woman was gone and as he looked at the area around him he knew there was no way of tracing her.

There was only one thing he could do.

As much as he wanted to let it all go, to fall to the ground and forget anything but his beautiful Jess, he couldn’t just yet.  His cell phone was still in his pocket and he pulled it out.  He didn’t need to look for the number, just dialed his number one contact – the number he hadn’t called in two years – and moved to the other side of the street.

“Sammy?

He nearly sobbed at the sound of his brother’s voice but he didn’t have time.  Someone would come looking for him as soon as the fire department got there and this needed to be done first.

“Dean?  I … they… Jess.”

“Sammy, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Tell JC he needs to lie low and I need you to come get me, Dean.”

“Sam, man, tell me what happened?”

“The crazy lady is back, Dean.  She’s back and she killed Jess.”

“Jesus,” he could hear the waver in Dean’s voice, the empathy he’d always been so damn good at.  He took a deep breath and waited until he heard Dean’s voice again.  “Alright.  I’m on my way Sam.  I’ll call when I’m close to see where you are.  I’m … seven hours out.  I’ll get in touch with JC and I’ll be there.  Just hang on for me.”

Sam hung up without answering.  Dean was on the way and he’d take care of everything, just like he always did.  With that figured out, he sat down on the curb, pulled his knees up and tried to drown out the memory of Jessica’s blood stained nightgown and the crazy woman who was trying to steal his brother away as well.

**

_Sam looked down at his bag as his cell phone vibrated in class.  It was against the rules to check your cell phone in class, but there were only a handful of people who had his number and none of them ever called just to check in.  He quickly grabbed his phone and put it in his pocket before heading out the door.  When his teacher looked up at him he just smiled.  “Bathroom,” he answered as he walked out the door.  He was bound to get in trouble for leaving but he didn’t care.  He wasn’t likely to be in that school long enough to serve detention anyway.  Their dad was supposed to be back on Saturday and he’d told Dean to have them ready to move on._

_“Hello?” he answered the phone quietly as he walked down the hall towards the outer doors._

_“Sam?  Something’s here.”_

_“What?  JC, are you okay?”  He knew he wasn’t.  By the age of ten his little brother knew how to handle a situation.  Now, at fourteen, he wouldn’t call with that edge of fear in his voice if he was alright._

_“I was in the bathroom and this woman came after me, Sam.  I managed to fight her off but when I ran she was right behind me.  I’m in the school theater but she’s between me and the door.  I can’t get out.”_

_“Stay where you are,” Sam said calmly, though he didn’t feel composed at all.  “I’m only a block away.  I’m coming.”_

_He hung up the call and dialed even as he ran, suddenly grateful for the weight of the silver knife strapped to his ankle.  He’d always hated walking around armed all the time but for once he was glad his father insisted._

_“Sammy?”_

_“JC’s in trouble, Dean.  He’s in the school theater.  I’m running there now.”_

_“Be carefully, Sammy.  I’m on my way.”_

_As much as Sam hated living in small towns, it was paying off today as he ran the short distance between the high school he attended and the middle school JC was in.  They all knew the layouts of the two schools, the first thing drilled into them with their training was know the terrain so school floor plans were always memorized as soon as they got there.  The theater, or auditorium, was at the back of the complex in a separate building from the rest of the school.  A fence surrounded the grounds but Sam wasn’t willing to waste the time going around to the front and there wasn’t a fence made yet that could keep a Winchester from his brother._

_He climbed the chain link and was over the other side quickly, thanking Dean in the back of his head for always daring them into stupid things, forcing them to train without even letting them realize what he was doing until now, when he needed to climb the damn fence and knew how._

_He stopped running then, close to the building and trying to settle his heartbeat.  He was hyper aware of what was happening around him and he needed that, but he needed to be prepared for anything.  He couldn’t think of anything recent that could have followed them from a hunt, and JC said he’d been able to fight it off so it probably wasn’t something drastic like a terminator, but JC didn’t panic and if he said something was after him, something was._

_Sam moved to the side entrance and opened the door slowly, creeping inside the small black entryway.  He cursed himself for not finding out exactly where JC was in the theater, but he’d figure his location out._

_“Come out, little man,” a female voice said from the center of the room, “I promise it won’t hurt a bit.”_

_Sam dared a look around the corner and saw her standing in the center of the round stage.  She was in a perfect spot to see anyone trying to make a move towards the side door or the main entrance.  She must have been turned completely away as Sam moved into the room or she’d have seen him, the small foyer area not giving him more than the tiniest cover._

_She was beautiful, he had to admit that.  Almond shaped eyes, with long black hair, her body was thin and he could see a fit, athletic body under the tight pants and black short sleeved shirt she wore.  Brown knee high boots clicked prettily on the stage but all Sam could think were they were shit-kickers and they’d hurt like hell.  At the small of her back was a gun tucked into her waistband and another was held in her hand._

_“It didn’t have to be this way, John Connor!” she yelled.  “It could have been different, but you changed everything!”_

_Sam saw a slight movement to the right and he found JC, slithering on the floor between the seats.  The seats in front of him protected him from the crazy lady’s sight but from Sam’s angle he could just make him out.  He needed to cause a distraction so JC could get out but all he had was a knife and she had her guns.  What he needed were throwing knives because he just might be able to get in a good enough throw that she was immobilized long enough to get them out, but he had no such luck.  His knife was made for hacking, not throwing._

_“Sammy!”  The main door flew open and Dean was there, striding through the door._

_“Dean!  Get down!” Sam yelled as the woman took a shot at Dean.  JC was scrambling towards him and Sam grabbed him, putting his body between JC and the crazy lady._

_Dean was dodging bullets as he ran towards them, guns pulled.  He stopped to fire and the lady dove behind a row of seats to take cover.  She hadn’t been prepared for JC to have back up and she didn’t have the advantage anymore.  “Let’s get the hell out of here,” Dean said as he joined them behind a row of seats.  The wooden backs weren’t great cover, but the lady didn’t have any better so at least they were even._

_“Yeah, let’s go.”_

_“You have new friends, John,” the lady taunted from behind the seats.  “Ever wonder what happened to your mother, John?  Ever stop to question what happened to Sarah, or are you already too much of a machine?”_

_“What the hell do you know about my mother?’ JC demanded._

_The sound of light laugh filled the air and Sam grabbed hold of JC’s arm to keep him from standing up.  Dean’s eyes looked ready for murder but he was holding his ground.  They had to keep each other safe, that was Dad’s rule, Sarah’s too._

_“I know you’ll never find her unless I tell you where she is.  I wouldn’t count on her help anytime soon though, Johnny boy.”_

_The sound of sirens made them all turn their heads and Dean cursed under his breath.  “We have to get out of here.”_

_“JC?”_

_Their brother kept looking over his shoulder at where the woman was but Dean grabbed his arm.  “We can’t find Sarah if we get caught, JC.”_

_Sam was more than a little surprised Dean wasn’t jumping the chairs to try to get to the woman himself, but Sam realized something new as he looked at his brother.  Dean didn’t believe she was alive anymore.  As much as he bolstered JC and Sam’s beliefs that she was out there, trying to find a way back to them, Dean had buried her in his head.  He was keeping his family alive the best way he knew how.  He grabbed JC’s wrist and nodded.  “She’d kick our ass if we endangered you like this.  Come on.  We can’t let the cops find you, John.”  He used the name on purpose.  No one cared about JC Winchester, but if the cops came and ran prints they’d know they had John Connor on their hands and anyone could come after him then._

_When his eyes caught Sam’s, JC nodded._

_“Time to go, Dean,” Sam said, knowing Dean was trusting him to get JC out of there.  He wasn’t about to let either of his brothers down._

_Dean stood up, letting bullets fly and Sam and JC made a run for the door, Dean walking steadily backwards as they went.  The wail of the sirens continued to get louder as Sam pulled JC out the door.  He didn’t get more than a cursory glance – no limping so no broken limbs and though there were a few cuts on his face there wasn’t enough blood over all to warrant more concern just yet – as they waited for Dean to follow them out._

_“Exit?” Dean bit out as he backed out the door.  JC was pulling at Sam’s shoulder to get them moving, but Sam knew the tight tone in Dean’s voice.  Whatever injury he had would have to wait though._

_“A hole in the fence, this way,” JC answered.  Sam pulled away from JC, grabbing at Dean’s shoulder but Dean shrugged him off.  Sam knew the injury couldn’t be too bad the way Dean was moving so they ran out behind the theater until they found the hole JC was talking about._

_They didn’t ask how JC knew about their escape route.  Sam was too busy worrying about Dean and he knew Dean would just be impressed that JC had a secret exit lying in wait for them.  They got through the fence quickly and then Dean was leading them down the next street to where the white jeep was parked.  Although Dean drove the vehicle most of the time – except when their Dad was afraid the black Impala would stand out or leave the wrong impression – they still thought of the jeep as Sarah’s, like they were still keeping it for her and she’d return anytime to find it._

_They piled in, though Sam took the keys when he realized Dean had been shot in the arm.  “JC, look at his arm while I get us home.”_

_“Damn it, Sammy, its fine.”_

_“If it is then JC will tell me that in just a minute,” Sam replied coolly.  He wasn’t about to trust his brother’s word when it came to an injury_

_Sam ignored the way Dean continued to bitch while he pulled away from the school as JC began pulling Dean out of his over shirt.  Dean’s wound was still bleeding heavily, Sam could see that much from quick glances but JC was looking him over carefully._

_“Looks like the bullet went all the way through, missed anything too important,” JC finally said to Sam.  “We can take care of this back in the room.”_

_“Alright then.”_

_As much as Sam wanted to run every red light between them and the motel at neck-breaking speed, he kept a few miles under the speed limit to keep from getting into any trouble.  Once they got there, Dean shook his head.  “Sam, I’m fine.  We need to get out of here.  Whoever that was could have been following JC around.  We need to find a new hotel.”_

_As much as he wanted to argue about it, he knew he couldn’t.  Dean wasn’t about to let some crazy lady come after JC again.  “Alright.  Yeah, alright.  JC, get our stuff packed up.  Dad already got his but I’ll check his room over real quick and we’ll get a bandage over your arm, Dean.  Once we get settled in again I can stitch the bullet hole up for good.  Got it?”_

_The others nodded and they were moving to the motel room with a plan.  Sam was right about John.  He’d cleaned the room before leaving so there were no telltale signs of the Winchesters.  He went to the other room then and watched as JC efficiently packed his things before grabbing Dean’s bag and packing his stuff as well._

_Dean sat on the edge of the bed with his over shirt dropped to the floor beside him.  The first aid kit was sitting on the bed and Sam opened the kit quickly as Dean swiped at the wound with an already bloody wash cloth.  “Okay, Dean?” he asked quietly as he stood over his brother, looking at the broken flesh.  His hands were already reaching for the first aid bag._

_“Fine,” Dean gritted out.  “Just slap something over it and let’s get going.”_

_Sam didn’t bother answering, just nodded as he pulled open the bandage and gauze.  He put ointment on the bandage, and then wrapped the wound up tight until they could get someplace safer.   “All good,” Sam said as he stepped back._

_Dean stood up just as JC dropped Sam’s pack by the door as well.  “That’s everything,” JC said._

_“Let’s move out,” Dean walked through the door, leaving Sam to get the bags as JC ran to the front and left the keys._

_The car was silent as Sam carefully drove them out of town, grateful that the next city was close by or he’d have been pulling over on the side of the road to patch Dean up.  They got into town and Sam stopped the car at a phone booth as JC jumped out to find the first motel listed.  They called and got the directions and Sam pulled up into the motel a little more than twenty minutes after they’d left their last place._

_Dean was the only one old enough to get them a room and Sam pulled the jeep in, out of sight of the office window so no one would notice who Dean was with.  Dean just grunted as Sam helped him put on a clean over shirt, then headed in for the office._

_Dean managed to get them the far room, two queen beds and a lot of privacy since no one was booked in the room next to theirs.  JC grabbed their bags as Sam pulled the door open and got Dean set up on the first bed.  The rest of the room was a blur, but the motel seemed nicer than they usually stayed, cleaner and the air conditioning was actually keeping the room cool without the rasping banging sounds they were used to._

_JC set the first aid kit out as Sam stripped Dean of his shirts.  Dean looked up at Sam, brow raised slightly at that, but Sam didn’t want Dean having to raise his arms up to remove his shirt once he got him stitched up.  Both shirts were dumped onto the floor just as JC came up with a bottle of tequila.  They weren’t normally allowed to drink it, but John considered the liquor part of the medical kit - the Winchester Miracle Heal-all._

_Dean took two long pulls from the bottle before Sam had the needle threaded.  A look over his shoulder showed JC salting the door and windows and Sam took a deep breath.  His hands were steady as he brought needle to flesh and Dean didn’t so much as flinch as he began working a neat line of stitches across the back of his brother’s bicep where the bullet had passed through._

_He moved around to the front then, setting the needle to Dean’s skin where the bullet had passed on the way in.  Dean’s hand gripped Sam’s hip tight, bruises forming under his strong fingers, but Sam didn’t try to pull away.  He didn’t know if Dean would have been different in another life, but pain and the liquor flowing through his blood – another two shots when Sam had switched sides – left him pressing against his brother, his cock a hard outline at the seam of his jeans._

_He finished the stitches and put the kit away before coming back to stand over Dean.  Dean pulled him down and Sam let him, knees coming up on either side of Dean’s waist to straddle him.  “You feeling okay, Dean?” he asked once again._

_Dean’s smirk was slow and sweet.  “Alright.  You all done now, Doctor Sam?”_

_Dean grabbed Sam around the neck with his good arm and pulled him in close.  Sam didn’t hesitate to bring their lips together, his hands wrapping around Dean’s shoulders to pull him closer.  He needed to feel Dean around him, to know his brother was alright.  It was the same whenever he got hurt.  The years hadn’t made it any easier.  Sam sucked at Dean’s bottom lip and was rewarded with a smile from his brother.  He didn’t let him speak though, instead licking his way into Dean’s mouth and turning the words into moans._

_Dean shifted under Sam, trying to get better leverage but a pained groan broke free as he moved his injured arm the wrong way._

_“Idiot,” Sam heard from the other bed.  JC was shaking his head as he moved over to Sam and Dean.  “Shove off, Sammy,” JC said as he pushed at Sam.  He might have been offended if it had been anyone else, but JC knew all their secrets, just like they knew his.  Instead, Sam got up and grabbed Dean’s bag, ruffling through the contents until he came across the lube.  He tossed the bottle on the bed beside his brothers as he watched JC help Dean struggle out of his clothes.  When he was done, Dean dropped a kiss onto JC’s forehead and JC snuggled into Dean’s chest for a second before bounding up off the bed.  “What would you two do without me?” he asked as he flipped the light beside the bed off.  It wasn’t dark outside yet, but with the motel blinds closed the only light in the room was from the bathroom.  Sam didn’t know why JC preferred the lights dark that way, but neither Dean nor Sam protested as JC settled into the other bed, turning onto his side to watch as Sam dropped his pants and climbed up the bed to Dean._

_Dean grabbed the bottle of lube and smiled up at Sam.  “You got plans for the afternoon, Sammy?”_

_“If you’re not in the mood I could just go to the bathroom and take care of myself,” Sam offered, even as he watched Dean flip open the lid and coat his fingers.  Normally, Dean would put him on his back and kiss him senseless until he barely even noticed the burn but this time had to be different since Dean couldn’t use his left arm.  Sam crawled up his brother’s chest until Dean’s wet fingers were pressing against his entrance._

_“Damn, Sammy,” he moaned as the first finger pushed in.  Sam closed his eyes and let out a deep breath, relaxing into the feel of his brother’s movements.  He opened Sam up quickly, each thrust of his fingers bringing Sam closer and closer to the edge.  When he finally pulled out, Sam was begging for more._

_“Come on,” Dean whispered as his hands gripped Sam’s hips tightly.  “Ride me, Sammy.”_

_Sam reached back and gripped Dean’s cock, positioning him just right as he sunk down onto the thick length.  Sam bit his bottom lip to keep from moaning, but Dean didn’t bother trying to be quiet.  Filth flew from his mouth and Sam had to lean in to kiss him silent._

_Neither of them were going to last long, it wasn’t about that, and Dean started stroking his cock as soon as he was fully seated on Dean’s lap.  “Dean, please,” he begged as Dean brought his knees up for leverage.  When he thrust up, Sam couldn’t stop the moan even if he’d wanted to.  He worked himself up and down his brother’s cock while Dean pistoned into his ass, never letting his hand motion falter in the slightest.  “Fuck, Dean, Dean,” Sam whimpered, but his words were too late and he was coming all over his brother’s hand._

_“Jesus, fuck, Sammy,” Dean cried out, thrusting up hard twice before his hands gripped Sam’s hips tight, burying himself deep in Sam as he came inside him._

_Sam collapsed forward, kissing Dean until the tremors subsided.  He pulled away then, flopping onto the bed beside Dean for a minute before he went into the bathroom to get something to clean them up with._

_He cleaned himself up quickly, but by the time he came back in, Dean was sitting up, his back against the headrest.  JC sat at his side, knees pulled up under his chin as if to make himself smaller than he was.  Sam didn’t hesitate to throw the blanket back and clean his brother up, but when he threw the wash cloth back into the bathroom, Dean pulled the sheet up for Sam to join him.  He did, settling against his brother, pulling the blanket up to Dean’s waist before letting his head fall into Dean’s lap._

_“I don’t know who she was, or why she was after me,” JC said quietly as he leaned against Dean’s side.  Sam looked up at the two of them and watched the way JC’s guilt played over his face.  “She said I betrayed her, but who the hell is she?”_

_Dean let out a deep breath as he looked at his youngest brother’s face.  “Go get a shower, JC, clean up your face, then come talk to me.”_

_JC nodded and it was only then Sam realized his little brother still had dried blood on his face.  JC got up and hobbled into the bathroom and Sam started to rise before Dean pushed him back down into his lap._

_“I should help him, Dean.”_

_“You will, when he gets out, Sammy,” Dean assured him.  “Let him deal with her taunts, then he’ll be ready for you.”_

_Sam let out a deep breath.  “I’m never gonna be as a good a big brother as you are,” he said wistfully.  “You always know when he needs me and when he doesn’t.”_

_Dean smiled fondly at him as his fingers tangled in Sam’s hair.  “Maybe I do, but it’s always you he wants to hold onto, Sam.  You’re an awesome big brother.  We just do things differently. JC is lucky to get us both.”_

_Sam smiled against his lap, but the adrenaline was gone and they were all safe again and the last thing he remembered hearing before falling asleep was the soft sound of Dean and JC’s laughter._

**

Sam didn’t have much to say to the cops or the fireman when they finished.  He told them there was a burglar and the place caught on fire, but he didn’t mention seeing Jessica dead.  He didn’t mention the killer’s knowledge of his brother or the fact that she’d come after his family six years earlier.  The type of things that came after JC wouldn’t be stopped by mere police anyway.

He was sitting in a hospital room, staring down at his hands as his feet dangled over the edge of the bed.  He wanted to get up and run, to do anything that would get his mind off Jess’s body but the staff wanted to keep him close.  He’d started having trouble breathing earlier and they were worried about the amount of smoke he’d inhaled.  He’d have taken off already but he had nowhere to go.

He closed his eyes and lost himself in the beat of his heart.  Sarah had taught him that, a long time ago, the first time Dean had gotten seriously hurt on a hunt and Sam had been unable to sleep.  Sarah had sat down beside him in the uncomfortable hospital chairs and told him to rest while he could, that Dean would need him to be strong when he woke.  Sam didn’t know how so she’d told him to close his eyes.  Then she’d talked to him about the importance of the heart, not just the function of the body but as a driving force for the soul.  She reminded him that humanity was just a step away from the horrors they hunted and the heart was what kept them all from becoming monsters.  She’d told him to listen to his heart then, to always – always - listen to his heart.  He’d focused on that, the sound of the beat, and he’d been able to relax enough to sleep.  He was pretty sure Sarah would have been appalled to know what else her lesson had meant to him, but Sarah had disappeared without ever finding out that listening to his heart had led him into his older brother’s arms.  That her words had not only given Sam the courage to love his brother, but they had also given JC the ability to accept that Sam and Dean were lovers without batting an eye. 

“Sammy?”

He had no idea how long he’d been out, but when he opened his eyes, Dean was standing in front of him, concern and fear warring with the anger that always riled Dean up when one of his brothers got hurt.

“Dean,” his voice sounded dried and cracked but Dean didn’t make him say anything else.  Instead, he was wrapped in his brother’s arms.  He took comfort in the strength of Dean’s presence until his brother pulled back slightly, one hand cupping Sam’s face as he kept their foreheads together.

“You ready to get out of here?”

Everything was the same as it had always been between them, no matter that Sam had worried about how Dean would react.  Sam was the one who’d walked away after all, left and then asked Dean to stop contacting him.  Dean just accepted him back, in ways that Sam always knew he would.  He’d be angry later, maybe, hurt, and Sam worried about the fall out, but Dean’s unconditional love and acceptance were just part of who he was.  That Sam didn’t deserve him was one of the things he’d had run from.  “Yeah.”

“You need to get anything?” Dean asked, stepping back to give Sam space.

“No,” Sam whispered.  “I just need to see that my other brother is safe too.”

Dean gave him a tight smile as Sam looked him over; checking for any physical signs of what the last few years had been like for Dean.  Dean signed as he handed Sam a bag of clothes from God only knew where.  “I know what you mean, Sammy.  I know what you mean.”

**

“How’s JC?” Sam asked as they stopped in front of the Impala.  Dean wanted to force Sam into the seat, needed to put a million miles between Stanford and Sam, but his brother looked at the car with a mixture of fear and awe.  It’d been two years since Dean had last talked to Sam and he had no idea what this meant to him, what getting into the front of the car would do to Sam.  He knew what Sam sitting in the passenger side meant to himself and he tried to push those emotions down. 

Sam wasn’t his anymore, not the way he once had been and Dean wasn’t about to do anything stupid on the night he lost his girl, no matter how much Dean needed to tangle his fingers in Sam’s hair, kiss his mouth bruised, and keep him right the fuck where he was supposed to be. 

“Good.  He was doing some recon when you called.  He was going back to the motel and heading up to the next town to wait for us.”

“You told him about-“

“Yeah, of course I did.  He wanted to come with me but I convinced him if that crazy bitch was after him, heading to you was a sure fire way of getting you shot at again.”

“Low blow, man,” Sam said softly.

“Yeah, well a big brother’s gotta do what a brother’s gotta do, right?  JC’s just as stubborn as Sarah and he’s got Dad’s patience.    If I didn’t go below the belt he’d be riding shotgun right now and we’d probably have a psycho following us.”

“I’m not sure that’s a bad idea,” Sam said, his head bowed as he stared at his hands.

“Excuse me?”

“She… she knows what happened to Sarah.  For all we know, she killed Sarah, and she killed Jess.  Maybe I wouldn’t mind getting my hands on her.”

“Yeah, well maybe I don’t plan on using either of my brothers as bait,” Dean spit out.  “What the hell?”  He didn’t mean to be harsh but, Jesus.  Sam was talking about using JC to draw her out and while he knew Sam was hurting, neither of them would ever really put their little brother in danger.

“Dean-”

“We’ll find her, Sam,” he cut his brother off before he could say anything else.  He didn’t think he could listen to his brother’s defeated tone.  “Whoever she is, if she was waiting for 6 years to get to us, we’ll get another chance.  Don’t you start thinking stupid on me now.”

Sam didn’t answer but he looked up, staring out the window instead.  The silence thickened around them and Sam finally spoke, his voice still thick and bruised from smoke and grief.  “I’d never put him in danger, Dean. I just … I loved her.”

“I know, Sammy.”  He didn’t know how he had the voice for this conversation.  For two years he’d left his brother alone, not calling or stopping by.  No gifts sent to his dorm or apartment and no postcards from the strange places they passed along the road.  Just the suffocating need Dean had to know Sam was safe, with no way to find out.  JC made his calls and he offered to share what he knew, but Dean couldn’t listen.  Sam had asked for a clean break, for a chance at a different life without him in it and Dean had given that distance to him.  If he heard about Sam’s classes or his job or the girl he was banging, he’d never have been able to let him go. 

What terrified him the most was that if he’d shown up, demanding his place in Sam’s life, Sam would have given it to him.  They both knew that, which was why Dean had given him the space in the first place.  Sam hadn’t needed to tell him all the reasons he wanted to leave home and even though he knew their relationship was a part of it, he knew it wasn’t the only thing either.  If that’s all his leaving had been about Dean would have fought Sam tooth and nail.  It wasn’t and Sam had finally gotten the things he wanted in life.  Dean wasn’t sure he had it in him to speak about it now, his pain at being close to Sam was too damn near the surface and Sam was wrapped up in a whole other grief. 

Sitting across from his brother in the Impala, trying to make comforting words over the death of the woman Sam loved – when what he really wanted to do was pull over and fuck his brother senseless in the backseat until he remembered what love _really_ was – was nearly impossible. 

“Just get some sleep.  We’ll get back to JC and go from there.”

“Dean?  What about Dad?”

Dean tensed because he was trying real hard not to think about his father.  The crazy woman who’d attacked JC when he was fourteen years old, who’d just killed Sam’s girl, had also claimed to have taken Sarah all those years ago.  They’d never heard from her since and Dean, in all his years hunting, had never met anyone else as capable as Sarah was.  The crazy lady was back and John was missing.  He really didn’t like the picture the puzzle pieces were starting to give him.

“Dad’s missing.”

“Dean.”

There was recrimination in his brother’s voice but Dean couldn’t deal with Sam’s emo bullshit.  Not about this.  Sam didn’t want to talk to Dean, did he really think he was gonna call when John went missing?  If he wanted to reprimand someone he could talk to the brother that still mattered to him.

He ignored his anger and just gave Sam the facts in a tight, clipped voice.  “About three weeks back he went on a hunt and didn’t come back.  JC and I took care of the hunt, a woman in white, but Dad was gone.  His journal was left behind with a set of coordinates on a page in the middle.  We were gonna leave tomorrow to check the location out.”

Sam looked back out the window into the night and Dean let the silence fall between them.  His mind wouldn’t be quiet though.  As much as Dean kept telling himself it didn’t matter, that Sam’s choice to leave him behind meant _he_ didn’t matter to Sam anymore, he couldn’t stop the thought that Sam had called him when he needed someone, instead of JC.  That choice didn’t mean anything.  It couldn’t.

But it did.

 

**

_John Connor stared at the dark man, eyes filing away everything he knew about the stranger.  His clothes were rough and stained; the type you bought cheap or second hand so you could wear them in the middle of nowhere and know they’d hold up.  Heavy boots, even in the summer heat, were made for long travel and wear.  He gripped the shotgun in his hands loosely but with finger placement that made it easy to pull up and shoot.  He held the gun with the ease of familiarity and the set of his shoulders screamed soldier in ways John didn’t know how to describe but had seen in hundreds of men growing up as his mother had taken him off to whatever training she felt he needed next.   The man’s eyes were hunted, pained, the way his mother’s were when he asked about his father, or his future.  He looked up at his mom then, her eyes flicking back to John where he stood right behind her, his own gun held at the ready in case he needed to protect her.  She didn’t make a move but when her eyes flicked across the clearing he understood what she was trying to say and he focused his attention on the two boys who were standing opposite them._

_The taller of the two stood, back ramrod straight, gun held in the same easy way the other man held it.  He couldn’t be more than sixteen, but his eyes told another story.  He and the kid behind him were dressed the same as the older man and there were enough similarities in the three to make him think family.  The younger kid leaned back against a tree trunk, just behind his brother, maybe two years older than John himself.  He stood behind the other boy the way John stood behind his mother, willing to protect if need be, but knowing that the first shot, however it had to come, was the other’s domain._

_John found his eyes drifting back to the man again, noticing the slight nod of approval, as if he expected the older boy to protect the younger.  It made him angry, for reasons he couldn’t really explain, except his mother had just spent two years in a mental institute for trying to protect him and this man barely spared a glance for his oldest son except to see he was protecting the younger._

_“You look like you’re a long way from home,” the man said to John’s mother._

_He could see her tense as she stared at the man.  Her body was as rigid as she’d let her muscles get when she might need to fight, a slight change in her stance let him know she was ready and he shifted slightly to give her room, ready to run to find a better advantage over their greater size and numbers.  He hated the idea of leaving her, but he knew his training._

_“We’re just out hunting,” his mother said lightly.  “A coyote’s been bothering some friends and we decided to check the area out.”_

_Her story was mostly the truth.  Jose and Manuella said there was a chupacabra but he and his mother didn’t believe in that sort of thing.  She’d whispered that night that whatever was bothering their farm was probably just a sick coyote, too weak and tired to go after its normal game._

_“You decided to hunt a coyote through the forest with a ten year old kid?” The guy asked, not bothering to hide his disbelief._

_“Says the man standing in the forest with two boys of his own.”_

_The guy smiled.  “What’s your real story?”_

_He saw his mother’s shoulders relax a little; something about the man’s smile brought her out of fight mode.  John looked back at the two kids and saw their stance hadn’t changed at all and he took their attitudes as a sign, not letting himself relax no matter that his mother had._

_“We’re … survivalists.”_

_The guy looked her up and down, his smile broadening.  “Sure you are.  This might not be the hunt for you and your boy though.  I’ve heard things about this … coyote.”_

_“You mean you’ve heard it’s a chupacabra.”_

_The guy just nodded and he knew his mother was smiling at that.  “I think we’ll be alright.”  She looked back at him and nodded towards the path they’d been heading down when the newcomers had shown up.  “Move out, John.”_

_John nodded, looking towards the two boys as he started following his mother.  They were looking back at the other man and he was rolling his eyes as the youngest crossed his arms over his chest, bottom lip out in a sullen pout._

_“Wait,” the guy called out.  “Sounds like we’re hunting the same thing.  Why don’t you stay with us?  No use in putting the boys in danger of stray bullets if we both find this thing at the same time.”_

_His mom looked at the guy for a second and then back to him.  John dropped his eyes and then looked back up, a silent agreement to pairing with the others that they wouldn’t be able to see.  He was intrigued by the two boys and wanted to know more, even if he was wary.  He trusted his mom to make the final call though._

_She straightened up to look at the guy then, reaching out her hand to shake his.  “Sarah Reese.”_

_“John Winchester.  These are my boys, Dean and Sam.”_

_John looked at the boys as they came forward, Dean was the oldest and he stood between the newcomers and his brother right up until Sam smiled and reached a hand out to shake John’s.  John couldn’t help but smile at the friendly grin directed at him.  “Hey,” the boy said softly, almost shyly._

_“Hi, I’m JC,” he said, aware that his mother had left his name off the introductions.  John Connor wasn’t a name that was safe anymore, not now that terminators were actually trying to come back in time to stop him from surviving Judgment Day.  He wasn’t really comfortable being John Reese either, taking the name of the father he’d never known and would someday meet.  Instead, he went with JC.  Besides, he knew his mother.  This guy had something to teach and he saw the way she was looking at him, protection mode falling away to training mode and he figured this guy was going to be around a while.  Two Johns was just confusing and the less people who knew his real name the better.  A trail of bodies in Los Angeles and Pescadero State Hospital could attest to that._

_“Boys, make nice,” John Winchester said as he began leading the way down the path his mother had been about to take._

_“Yes sir,” John intoned with the other two, already too entrenched in following orders not to hear the command in John Winchester’s voice._

_Dean smirked at him as he watched Sam start after their father.  Dean dropped his arm and spread it wide, gesturing for John to follow after Sam and he did, realizing as he did so that Dean was both putting him in a protected position in the group but also cutting him off from his mother.  It was a smart tactic and John realized the father wasn’t the only one they could learn from._

_John moved on, following Sam, knowing Sarah was at the back of the group, weapons trained on John Winchester if anything should go down wrong._

_**  
_

JC startled awake, his phone buzzing in his pocket as he sat up straight in the front seat of the jeep.  It took a second to get his bearings, but he remembered where he was quick enough.  He berated himself for falling asleep as he reached for the phone. 

“Hello?”

“JC, I’ve got Sam.”

“Can I talk to him?”  Jesus, that was a relief.  He’d been about to go to blows with Dean when he refused to let him along for the ride, but Dean had always been a dirty fighter.  The idea that his presence was what the woman might want was logical enough that it blew through his angered resistance.  His mother would have a lot to say about his emotional reaction if she was still there, but six years of living alone with the Winchesters had given him a slightly skewed idea of things.  He knew he couldn’t sacrifice himself for another person, knew the human race would depend on him in the future, but Sam and Dean weren’t just anyone else.  They were his brothers and he’d die a hundred times over to protect them. 

Not that Dean or Sam would ever give him the chance.

“He’s asleep right now.  He was in the hospital when I got there.  Nothing too bad but I talked to the nurse before I saw him and found out they were just keeping an eye on him because of the smoke inhalation.”  Dean’s voice was quiet as he spoke.  “I’ll have him call you when he wakes up though.  He looks like hell, JC,” Dean admitted over the phone.

He ached for his brother then, for both of them.  He didn’t know what the first 12 years of Sam’s life had been like but by the time he’d become a part of the family Sam and Dean had been so far gone on one another there was no way of stopping what they became.  JC couldn’t imagine Sam and Dean any other way, couldn’t remember a time when they weren’t wrapped around each other.   The last two years had been hard on Dean, and hard for JC to watch.  He was caught between his two big brothers, Dean refusing to talk about Sam or ask about him and Sam refused to ask but waiting with pained silence until JC told him Dean was alright. 

Sam had walked away, knowing how far gone they were, afraid the connection they shared would get his brother killed.  JC had tried to talk him out of leaving – in fact, he thought he had – up until the night he showed up with a full ride from Stanford, and a bus ticket in his back pocket.  Dean had accepted his decision better than he or John had.  It wasn’t until Sam was gone a full two years that Sam had finally cut the string between him and his big brother, telling Dean not to come back.  Two years of Dean and JC running off to see Sam when John wasn’t paying attention.  Not that he didn’t figure out where they were headed.  John Winchester might have a blind spot a mile wide when it came to certain things, but he knew where his boys were at all times. 

For two years Sam went to school, learned about the normal life Dean and JC never stood a chance at – JC had to lead mankind against skynet and Dean was too long in his grief over his mother to want normal again - but then Sam needed to break away from Dean for reasons JC still didn’t understand.  Their long distance relationship hadn’t been perfect but it gave Sam the chance to do what he wanted and still have Dean.  Back then, he wasn’t sure if Dean would survive the loss of his brother/lover.  Listening to the ache in his brother’s voice now, he wasn’t sure Dean would survive his return.

“Hospitals always make Sam sick,” JC offered.  And though he hadn’t planned on bringing his own trouble up, he knew there was nothing that would kick-start Dean’s recovery better than possible danger.  “Dean, I know it can’t be her, but I think I’ve got a tail.”

“What?”

“I caught some guy following me around today.  He was good, Dean, blending in well and took his time.  Didn’t rush me or try to get me into a dark corner.  He just… watched.  I booked a motel and put my stuff in, but I’m keeping an eye on the place from outside just in case.  If nothing happens tonight I figure I’m safe to go in tomorrow.”

“JC, why didn’t you call before?”

Dean was angry and JC smiled to himself.  Dean was still, in so many ways, the young man he’d met that first day in the woods.  Without John and Sarah to dictate his role, he was still trying to keep himself between his brothers and harms way. 

“It could be nothing, maybe I’m just overreacting after this thing with Sam.  Either way, I didn’t notice it until you were already on the way to get Sam and he’s got real trouble, Dean.  He needs you there.”

He heard Dean snort over the phone line.  “Yeah, he needed a ride.”

“Dean-” There was so much bitterness and self-doubt in that one comment that JC hated Sam for a moment for doing this to their brother, for making them all live out this painful sham for two years.   They all knew – Sam included – that Sam would never be able to stay in the normal world for long.  Something was always going to get him back to the hunt. 

“Don’t.  Just… take care.  If you even think you can’t shake this, you haul your ass to Bobby’s or Ellen’s, alright?”

“You remember what happened the last time we were at Ellen’s?”

“Yeah, well Sarah ain’t with us to cause trouble this time.”

JC smiled at that, remembering the day his strong willed mother finally met a woman that had the same steel in her.  They’d gotten along about as well as two lions fighting over the same prize piece of meat.  They still couldn’t figure out if the women had been fighting over John or the boys.  Ellen had finally told Sarah if she ever set foot in her bar again she’d be saying hello with her shotgun. 

When they were on the way out, she’d handed each of the boys a brown bag with lunch, candy bars, and an ice cold soda along with a pre-paid phone card, letting them know they, at least, were welcome back. 

“Good thing John isn’t with us or that’d put Bobby out of reach too.”

Dean laughed slightly and JC could hear the way his oldest brother was letting go of some of that pressure.  “How the hell we manage not to piss of every person we meet, with those two as role models, is beyond me.”

“Speak for yourself.  With my role models it’s a wonder I don’t sleep my way through every bar in town.”

Dean laughed and JC knew he had to be remembering better times, when JC was too young to realize he shouldn’t be watching his older brothers in the next bed.  What he’d witnessed had been natural then, just two people who loved one another, filling in the holes where doubt and fear had crept in and wormed their way in.  He’d just watched and some nights, when they were still catching their breath, he’d crept into the other bed with them, just laying against Dean’s side to be close to them.  His mother had always told him he had to hold on to what he could and Sam and Dean were the best things that had happened to them.  He knew Sarah had felt the same.

“Take care, JC and just remember, don’t get fingerprinted.”

 _Like he needed a reminder._ “Find some sleep soon, Dean.  Don’t need to come after you when you crash.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“Nite, Dean.”

“Nite, Little Brother,” Dean said, reminding him just who he was.  The world might someday see him as John Connor, but to Dean he would always just be his little brother. 

JC hung up the phone but continued to look at the screen for a moment.  Dean wasn’t good at expressing his emotions on the best of days, but JC and Sam had always been able to read him well enough that he didn’t need to be.  Tonight, JC felt a little lighter for the reminder of his place in their world. 

A Winchester by right, Dean had told him once, if not by blood.  And as always, the thought was followed up by Bobby’s no nonsense voice, “ _Family don’t end with blood.”_ The first time he’d met Bobby the man said the phrase and then looked perplexed when JC busted out into laughter.  Dean said it with the same tone and cadence without ever meaning to.  Sam had smiled his most wicked smile too, understanding JC’s humor, and Dean had looked just as surprised as Bobby.

Nights like tonight, he wished the whole world just forget he ever existed.  He was more than okay remaining JC Winchester, hunter of the supernatural.  He had no desire to be John Connor, savior.    

Life didn’t work like that though, not for a Connor and certainly not for a Winchester.

The jeep was parked in a deserted part of the parking lot, hidden in shadow.  The room was just across the way, the back room the way John had always liked.  Sarah always said John liked the back because he didn’t like people, didn’t want to be around them.  JC knew it was because John couldn’t trust anyone anymore and even if the distance was just another room or two, he wanted to keep his family from outsiders.  Dean got it naturally, still taking the bed closest to the door to protect JC.  For his mother’s memory, and for Dean’s sanity, he still let him.

None of it meant anything as a body shifted into his periphery, a gun held to his temple.  “Don’t move.”  The voice was calm and smooth, someone who wasn’t afraid of what he was doing, someone who had experience on that end of the gun. 

“If you want money you can have my wallet.  You can have anything.”  He was cursing himself for being so damn caught up in the front of the room that he wasn’t paying attention to his own back – he was not telling his brother about this, no way in hell – but the wallet and money could be easily replaced. 

“I’m not here for your wallet, John Connor.”  The man paused when JC started to turn his head to see who was addressing him by his real name but the gun pushed at his temple to keep him where he was.  “John Connor.  JC Winchester.   Son of Sarah Connor .  Unofficially adopted into the Winchester family in 1995, soon after you nearly died at the hands of a T-1000.”

“Who the hell are you?”  He couldn’t be a terminator.  One of the T’s would have just killed him as soon as he saw him.  That didn’t mean he was safe though.  Anyone who knew the name John Connor knew too much. 

The gun moved away from him and for the first time he could turn to look at the man that had pulled the weapon on him.  He had his hands up, showing JC he didn’t have any other weapons trained on him.  His dark hair was close cropped, jeans and a dark tee hidden under an army green jacket.  His eyes, blue as the sky, held him with the same sort of intensity John Winchester had. 

“Who are you?” JC asked again.

“Derek.  I’m … I’m from the future.  I was sent back to protect you.”

“Prove it.”

“Can we take this someplace a little more private?”

“Why?”  JC wasn’t ready to trust him yet even though there was something in the other man’s eyes that made him want to.  He looked at JC like he was something, like he was hope, and he knew the man wasn’t looking at some young guy in a parking lot, but John Connor, leader of the resistance.

The guy pulled up his jacket sleeve and held his arm up, showing the marks that he knew as sure as any; the barcode marked into the skin of resistance fighters who were caught by Skynet. 

“I still don’t trust you,” JC said, but he was getting out of the Jeep and leading the other man, Derek, into his room.  He had his hand on a gun as soon as he was through the door and Derek was watching him wide eyes as he turned on him, pushing him further into the room.  “Sit down and keep your hands where I can see them.”

Derek did as he was told and JC watched him take a seat at the table.  “Did you really think a little tattoo would get my trust?”

“Just enough to get me in the door.  I know your mother disappeared in 1997.  I know John Winchester disappears sometime this year.  And I know about your brothers.”

He swallowed against the lump in his throat at the mention of John’s disappearance.  He wasn’t his father, not really, but for the last 10 years he’d lived with the man, 6 of those years after his mother had disappeared.  He was the only father JC had ever known.  In fact, he held a certain amount of pride that he would one day be known as John, as if after everything he could claim that name as his, that he could honor John Winchester in some way.

“What do you know about my brothers?”  His hands were steady on the gun and his voice was cold.  No matter what anyone could say about his relationship to John – or Sam and Dean’s relationship to Sarah – no one doubted they were brothers through and through.

“I know they’re lovers.”

JC nearly pulled the trigger on principle.  No one knew, no one but his brothers and himself.  “How?”

“We’re part of the resistance,” Derek said.  “We’re … close … your brothers and I, in the future.”

“And what about me?”

Derek smiled then and there was something warm and affectionate there.  He didn’t understand it but he’d learned to trust his instincts a long time ago.  “We’re close too.  As close as you let anyone get.”

“If we’re so close, tell me something no one else would know.”

“Sam was only 14 the first time it happened, a bad hunt and Dean was bleeding bad.  You got him patched up but Sam was messed up about Dean getting hurt.  You were there for all of it.  You never felt weird about watching your brothers having sex in the bed beside you or even jealous because Sarah told you to hold onto the things you loved because the world was gonna end.  What you never told them, was that you would never have asked to be a part of it, but you’d have gone willingly to them if they’d asked.”

JC’s mouth dropped open because there was no way anyone else knew his thoughts.  No way he’d spoken of it either.  “How d-“

“You sent me back and you knew I’d have to convince you somehow.  I’m here because someone else came back too.”

“The crazy lady?”

“You’ve seen her?”

“Long black hair, Asian descent, Australian accent?  She attacked me at school 6 years ago, claimed to know where my mother was.  She showed up at my brother’s apartment last night and killed his girlfriend.  Who the hell is she?”  He lowered his gun then because the things he knew, the fact that he knew what their attacker looked like, was enough.  The guy had to be on the up and up.

“Jessie Flores.”

“You know her?”

“We used to be friends.”

“Used to be?”  JC couldn’t help but ask because the answer was hard and cold, the type of voice that came after a deep betrayal.

“Used to be, until she tried to kill John Connor and escaped into the past before we could stop her.”

“Jesus, you have any idea what she’ll do next?”

“She killed Jessica last night?”

“You know her name?”

“Sam used to talk about her from time to time.  Never when Dean was around, but sometimes, when Dean walked away.  He was as good at saying what people needed to hear as Dean was at knowing when they needed to hear it.”

JC snorted at that because there was a common mistake when it came to his brothers; that Sam was the one that always knew when to talk and Dean was the insensitive one.  It was quite the opposite actually.  Dean always knew what people wanted, he just wasn’t the type of guy to sugar coat things.  Sam took his direction from Dean when it came to matters of the heart.  Dean walking away or rolling his eyes was just one of a set of signals that meant it was time for Sam to do his sympathy thing.  Left to his own devices, Sam would barrel right in the puppy dog eyes every time before people were warmed up enough to him to let him in.

“Yeah, that’s my brothers,” JC conceded to Derek.  “So, you’ve been following me around.  Why not just come up to me like you are now?”

“I had to wait until Dean was gone.  He wouldn’t let me within 50 feet of you without a full interrogation.  When he left I knew I could get close enough to get you to hear me out.  I was just waiting for the right time to introduce myself.”

“Dean will be back with Sam in the morning.”  Derek just nodded.  “Come back then.  I might have let you in the door, but I don’t let anyone in closer than that without further inspection.”

“This mean Dean is gonna grill me anyway?”

There was something in his voice, amused resignation that made JC smile.  “Yes.”

“Damn.  I ever get back home I’m gonna owe him.”

“You made a bet with Dean?”

“I was drunk.  He took advantage.”

“I bet,” JC smiled.  “See you in the morning, Derek.”

The other man left and JC wasn’t sure what to think of the situation. Derek had held a gun to his head, purposely waiting until he was alone to come forward.  He thought about his mother though and what little she’d said about his father.  He thought about the difference in thinking like a hunter and thinking like a resistance fighter and how much trust Derek had to have given JC to walk in that room first without checking the location thoroughly.  And he realized he wanted to trust him.  Derek knew enough about them that his knowledge had to come from him or his brothers but that didn’t mean as much as it should.  There was more than one way to get information.  He needed Dean there to help him see the truth. 

He set the locks, made sure the salt lines were undisturbed, and settled on the second bed with his clothes on.  He had a gun under the pillow and a throwing knife on the night stand beside him.  Dean would be there in the morning, someone he could trust to watch his back, and he’d have Sam again, finally able to see how his brother coping was with his own eyes.  Until then, he decided to just settle in.  If Derek was going to betray him in the night, he’d already made his bed.  He was too damn worn out not to sleep in it.

**

_“JC!”  Sam barreled down the hall trying to find his ‘little brother’.  It was funny, how fast his dad had taken to Sarah Reese and her son, how easily they’d fit into their messed up lives, but Sarah made his dad pay more attention to them, not letting him leave them behind the way he always had and JC was fun to have around.  He didn’t really know what Dean thought about it all, his brother had become tight lipped ever since JC and Sarah had come into their lives, but it was only a matter of time before Sam wheedled it out of him._

_JC looked up from his locker, shoving books into his backpack as Sam came up alongside him.  “Hey, Sam.”_

_“You ready?  Dean said he’d meet us up front right after school.”_

_“Why are you in such a hurry?” JC asked as he shut the locker and Sam pulled him towards the door._

_“First day of school,” Sam answered, and then realized JC didn’t know about the tradition.  Actually, no one else did, this was just something Dean always did with him.  He slowed his steps then, suddenly worried that with JC there, Dean wouldn’t follow through with it.   “Um, Dean sometimes takes me out on the first day.”_

_JC looked at him oddly for a second and Sam couldn’t help but smile.  JC had never really had anyone but his mom to rely on and it was going to take longer than three months to get used to Sam and Dean.  Still, it made Sam happy that he had a chance to prove himself to JC.  He wasn’t really a big brother, but he was trying to live up to the idea.  It was a lot harder than Dean made it look, always being there to help out when he was needed without crowding JC too much when he needed his own space._

_The thought made Sam realize Dean would never disappoint him though, so he gripped JC’s arm and pulled him out the front door.  There, sitting right in front of the school was Dean, leaning up against the sleek black Impala.  John and Sarah were off on a hunt, probably gone for two days their dad had said as he packed that morning.  Sarah had promised Dean she’d call each night to make sure everything was okay since they were leaving him in charge of both boys.  Dean had rolled his eyes at Sarah’s need to mother him but Sam could see his brother softening to her just a little more each time it happened._

_“Hey JC, Sammy, how was school?” Dean asked as he opened up the car, letting JC jump in the back seat as Sam opened the front and crawled across to the passenger side._

_“Fine,” JC said with a roll of his eyes._

_Sam smirked.  “New day, new school, same ol’ shit.”_

_Dean shook his head as he slid behind the wheel looking back at JC.  “Yeah, same here.  Teacher make you stand at the front of the class?”_

_JC just nodded and Sam groaned sympathetically.  He’d managed to avoid the introduction speech, but it was the first day of the school year and no matter how good an influence Sarah was on their dad, he knew it was only the first of many schools they’d be attending that year.  There was still plenty of time to have to come up with a lie for the obligatory ‘meet the new kid’ moment._

_“Well this here is a Winchester tradition,” Dean said, a lazy drawl making his voice take on an accent that was totally in place in the small Texas town they were currently living in but was completely different from his brother’s usually terse words.  “First day at a new school I always pick you up.  Next, we head to a diner and we get to order whatever we want.  After that, we find something normal to do, like movies or, I don’t know, bowling or miniature golf.  Someplace we can scope out the local kids and figure out what normal looks like in this place.”_

_“And we have fun,” Sam said with a wink.  “No training tonight, though if Dad asks, you tell him we did, got it?”_

_JC nodded, but a smile was growing on his face.  “Can I have a milkshake?”_

_Dean turned back around to start the car up but Sam just laughed at JC’s expression.  “Of course you can have a milkshake.”_

_The diner was greasy and cheap and just the way Dean liked it.  Sam sat across from his brother in the booth, his legs stretched out so one heel was pressed on the seat between Dean’s legs with his ankles crossed over one another.  John sat next to the wall beside Dean as he slurped away at the chocolate shake.  They each had one in front of them and there was a mostly empty basket of onion rings and fries sitting between them._

_“Where to next?” Dean asked as he finished a French fry, dropping his hand between his legs to wipe the grease off on the leg of Sam’s jeans._

_“I heard some of the kids talking about a movie theater around here,” JC mumbled._

_Sam looked at Dean because JC didn’t mumble like that.  He was quiet, sure, but when he spoke JC always made himself heard._

_“Yeah, we can do that, can’t we, Sammy?”_

_“Sure, sounds like fun.”_

_“You like going out to the movies, JC?” Dean asked as he reached for his wallet to pay for their meal._

_JC looked down and didn’t answer until Dean nudged him with his elbow.  “I … I’ve never been.”_

_Dean’s eyes shot up, looking incredulously at Sam for a moment before he looked back at JC.  He smiled widely, as if to make up for his moment of surprise.  “Good thing you got stuck with us then, huh?”_

_Dean didn’t say anything else then and Sam didn’t make a big deal of it either.  For all the things they never had, for all the things they had to give up, their dad had always given them the time and space to have a little fun when they could.  It was alarming to Sam to find out that Sarah, who took such good care of JC and who obviously wanted him to be happy, never let him do things like that._

_The drive was quiet and JC took five minutes to decide what he wanted to eat once they were inside and in front of the concession stand.  Sam didn’t say anything when Dean ordered all the candy JC had been looking at but hadn’t asked for.  He even shared his popcorn and managed to wait until the closing credits before starting to throw the remaining popcorn at his brother.  JC had been startled at first, but he’d joined in as soon as Dean threw popcorn back at both of them._

_Sarah called to check in around nine and Dean told her about the diner, but said they’d come straight home to do training and got started on homework.  JC confirmed it when he talked to her and Sam was handed the phone next, a surprise he still hadn’t gotten used to.  After Sarah made sure he was okay, they hung up and Sam realized he was alone in the living room of their small rental apartment._

_He walked down the hallway and quietly looked in their room to find JC sitting on the single bed.  Dean and Sam had a bunk bed set up across the room on the other wall.  Dean was sitting beside JC, a piece of paper in hand as he spoke softly._

_“So you just write it all down, alright?  It doesn’t matter how simple or silly or ordinary the activity seems.  If you haven’t been able to do it yet because of the way we live, you just add it to the list.  It might take a while to get through the whole thing, but Sammy and I will make sure we do.”_

_“Do you have a list?” JC asked Dean as he took the paper._

_“In my head, sure, I keep one for Sammy and me both.  I don’t know what you’ve done though so you gotta help me out.”_

_“What’s next on your list for you and Sam?”_

_Dean stared down at his hands for a second and Sam wanted to go throw himself at his brother.  He never knew Dean did anything like that, but it made sense._

_“Sam’s always wanted to play soccer.  I’m hoping this is the year I can convince Dad to stick around long enough for Sam to play.  I think I can convince him the benefits of team training, but it just depends on the hunt.  For me?  I’d like to get invited to a party.  No one ever gets to know me well enough, you know, to just invite me so I usually just crash them.  I keep thinking, it’s gotta be different to have someone ask you to be there.”_

_“Yeah, that’d be cool.”_

_“Yeah,” Dean said with a sigh.  “And barring all that, we’ve never been to a state fair.  I think we might actually be in town long enough this time to go.”_

_Sam stepped into the room then, “Fair sounds awesome.”_

_Dean looked up and Sam could tell his brother was surprised by his appearance.  Sam just smiled as he went to sit on the other side of Dean.  “You know what else we haven’t done?” Sam asked.  Both Dean and JC turned to look at him and Sam smiled.  “We haven’t been roller skating.”_

_“I haven’t either,” JC admitted._

_Dean nudged JC with his shoulder then.  “Looks like something for the list then.”_

_JC smiled and grabbed his school back pack, pulling out a pencil to start out the list.  No one else would know what the paper was, but at the very top in clear, crisp lettering JC wrote S, D, & JC’s list.  It was that moment Sam realized JC was finally letting them in.  It was that same moment Sam realized he and Dean were finally letting JC in too.  He didn’t know what their parents had planned for the future, but JC was theirs now.  There was no turning back.  _

_Sarah always liked to tell them stories about fate, and how people that were smart enough could outrun destiny.  Sam didn’t believe in things like that, even though Dean ate it up with a spoon.  JC was supposed to be theirs.  He was sure of it.  Whatever fate had in mind for JC Reese, the Winchester boys were gonna have his back._

**

Sam knew better than to try to take a seat on the bed so he leaned over, coffee in hand as he tried to tempt his little brother into wakefulness.  The scent of coffee filled the small motel room, but the enticement wasn’t enough to wake JC.  Sam sighed, setting the two coffees on the table before he leaned in and grabbed his brother’s shoulder.  JC shot up in bed, nearly nailing Sam in the chin with his forehead. 

“Jesus, JC,” Sam muttered as he stepped back.  At least he didn’t sleep with a knife under his pillow.  That was why Sam always woke Dean from across the room, preferably with something to throw.  He forced his mind away from other ways to wake Dean, ways that always got a much different outcome.  The truth was, since his brother had shown up at the hospital he felt like he was just waiting for his brother to pick him back up, dust him off, and throw them right back into the relationship they’d had when he left.  It was unrealistic, especially with everything that had just happened, but Dean had always been there for him, had always forgiven him everything.  Some part of him had always thought Dean would accept him back if he ever came home to him, no matter the circumstances.  Sam’s grief was threatening to overwhelm him and what he needed was the comfort of his brother’s arms.  A comfort Dean was obviously unwilling to give. 

“Sam?”  JC was on him then, arms thrown around Sam’s neck as he held him close.

Sam knew his brother wanted to ask if he was alright but they both knew the answer to that already.  He wasn’t sure he’d ever be right again, but part of him knew that was the grief coming through.  He held tight to his brother though, tight to the one he didn’t have to worry about.  JC was neutral territory for his grief and Sam took advantage of that, letting himself be comforted.  It didn’t happen often that Sam or Dean let JC have that role, but he was damn good at it none the less.  Sam tried not to think of how often JC had taken on the role of comforter for Sarah in the ten years before he’d become a Winchester. 

“Hey, got you coffee,” Sam finally mumbled against JC’s neck.

Dean took a seat on the other bed – the one closest to the door, Sam noted – and drank his own hot cup of caffeine.  “You alright, JC?”

Sam pulled back because there was something in Dean’s voice that made his words more than just a casual question.  This wasn’t a good morning - how you been since I left sort of question. 

JC shrugged.  “I was right.”

“What?”  The words came out in unison, Dean furious and Sam confused.

JC rolled his eyes as he sat up in bed, grabbing for the coffee before he started talking.  “I was being followed.  He got the drop on me last night while I was trying to catch him.  I think he’s an ally, Dean.  Either way, he’s coming by sometime this morning.”

“What the hell are you playing at, JC?”

“He knew things only we could have told him, Dean.  He said he’s from the future.  He said,” he looked at Sam and he could see JC trying to find the right words.  “The woman who killed Jess is Jessie Flores.  She’s from the future too.”

“She’s not a terminator.” Dean said immediately, before Sam could process what that all meant.

“Nope, just someone who decided to kill John Connor.”

Sam gripped John’s shoulder out of instinct.  Whoever she was, she was still a danger to JC.  He refused to lose his brother the way he’d lost Jess and Sarah.  “We won’t let her get close to you.”

JC opened his mouth as if to answer, but a knock at the door made all three men look to the door.  “JC?”

“It could be him.  Says his name is Derek.”

Dean motioned to the door and Sam took up placement behind it while Dean stood at the side that would open.  JC rolled his eyes again, obviously thinking they were going a little overboard but for someone who had been trained to keep himself alive at all costs, JC took too many risks for Sam’s liking.  Still, JC reached for the knob.  “Yeah?”

“John, its Derek.”

JC nodded to his brothers and slowly unlocked the door before opening it.  He stepped back, letting Derek in but Dean was moving after he was just a foot in the door, pulling him forward.  Sam slammed the door shut, pushing JC back behind them as Dean forced the guy back against the closed door.   JC’s gun was in hand – he had no idea when he’d even picked the weapon up - centered on the guy’s forehead and Dean’s forearm was against his throat, not cutting off air but only because Dean was holding back.

The guy didn’t even look surprised.  “Hello, Dean,” he said with a small smile.  He looked over Dean’s shoulder and nodded in acknowledgment.  “Sam.”

“How do you know us?”  Sam demanded.

“Same way you know me.  We fought together in the resistance with John Connor.”  His eyes moved over to where JC was standing in front of the bed.  “Not _that_ John Connor, but the older one.  We’ve still got a few more years before we actually meet.”

“How do we know that’s true?”

“I know you.  I know things about you that you’d never tell anyone else.”

“Like what?” Dean demanded.

“Oh hell,” JC murmured behind them but Sam didn’t look back at him.

Derek smiled.  “I know you like to flirt with anything blond and busty, Dean, but your real tastes run to tall puppy eyes over there.  And I know you popped Sam’s cherry after a bad hunt somewhere in Arizona.  John was in the other bed watching.”

Dean pushed with his forearm, cutting off the guy’s air flow and Sam was at a loss.  He looked over his shoulder at JC and knew this was the same information he’d told JC already.  Not that the kid didn’t already know, he’d lived through it after all, but it wasn’t something he ever expected to hear aloud.  Not from the lips of a stranger.

“Dean,” Sam said, trying to cut through his brother’s need to protect.  “Dean!  We need to see what he wants.”

The guy’s face was turning red as Dean stared at him.  Sam was about the step closer to Dean, try to get through to his brother - because even though they’d ended this before Sam went to Stanford his brother was still an overprotective bastard  - when Sam saw him finally pull back.  “Sam’s got a gun on you.  Even think about making a move and you’ll have a bullet in the brain.  I’m gonna pull out a chair and you’re gonna take a seat.”

Dean stepped back then and Sam trained his gun on the guy again.  He didn’t want to kill him, but they all knew he’d pull the trigger to protect his family.  Dean pulled a chair up into the middle of the room and once the seat was settled Derek sat down as he was told.

“So, what do you want here, Derek?” Sam asked.  Dean had his own gun trained on him now so Sam relaxed his, though he kept the weapon out and ready.

Derek looked back at JC, as if waiting for him.  JC sighed as he moved up to Sam’s side.  “If you know us as well as you say you do, then you know you can say anything to them you’d say to me.”

Derek nodded as he looked between the three brothers.  “I was sent back here after an attempt on John’s life.  The soldier got away by sending herself into the past.  I was sent back to stop her.”

“You’re talking about the crazy lady that tried to kill me six years ago.  You said you knew her,” JC told them.

“Jessie Flores.  She was a good soldier.  I don’t know what caused her to turn, but she went off the deep end.  John said,” Derek’s eyes flicked over to JC and quickly away, “she accused him of betraying us.  If Jessie was talking about anyone else, I would have trusted her opinion.  But it was John Connor and no one believed her.  She got away and managed to get far enough in the facility to get to the machine and come back in time.”

“How the hell did she get away?”  Dean demanded.

“Like I said, she was a good soldier and the men she was fighting against knew her.  She took advantage of it.”

“Why was she sent back in the past and you came out here?”

“I came out a few hours after she did, but too late to follow her at first.  Then, well,” Derek shrugged, “you aren’t exactly easy to find.  You went to ground after she attacked you so I did the only thing I could.  I tracked her instead.  About a year or so ago I came across a guy, a hunter, and mentioned the name Winchester.  He knew all about you boys, started talking shit about the three Winchester brothers.  He had plenty to say, including the last hunt he’d seen you heading for.  I caught your trail there and just kept going.  Unlike Jessie, I knew you well enough to see your aliases when they came up.”

“How do we know you?”  Sam stopped him at that point.  “The things you’re saying, you’re not just a soldier in John Connor’s resistance.  How do we know you?”

Derek nodded his head as he looked at Sam, but he turned his eyes to JC when he spoke.  “My brother, he was still just a kid, but the only things on the radio were the broadcasts from John Connor and he would listen to them, memorize them.”  He looked at Dean then.  “He was obsessed with joining the resistance.  I wanted to stay hidden, just keep him safe, you know?”

Dean nodded and Sam could feel some sort of connection between them.  Derek knew how Dean felt about his brothers, knew the lengths he’d go to protect them.  It wasn’t something he was told, it was something he understood deep down.  Sam could see it in that moment between Derek and Dean.

“It took us a long time to find them, but then we were there and all these guns were on us.  People in the resistance don’t take kindly to strangers, not until they can prove they aren’t metal or weren’t going to turn gray and betray them.  But then the whole room went still.  These men came up from the back hall and all you can see in their eyes is this cold steel.  Two of the men are in front of the other, but he’s the one that asks what we want with John Connor.  My brother,” Derek grinned fondly at the memory, “he doesn’t skip a beat.  Just says “We came to join you.”  Everyone was laughing and I could feel my brother’s heart just breaking so I stepped in front of him, just a bit, and the first guy who’d come in looked at the other man he was standing with.  I don’t know what they were thinking, they never told me, but the tallest of them looks over at us.  “What are your names?”  The guy in the back is watching the other two, not us anymore but I figure this is the only chance we have.  “This is my brother, Kyle, and I’m Derek Reese.”  As soon as I said my name, all three sets of eyes were on Kyle.  I still don’t know what that was about either, but then the stone faced guy, the one that had noticed my move, he comes over and offers me his hand.  “Welcome to the resistance boys.  I’m Dean.  These are my brothers Sam and John.   Let’s find you a place to bunk because it looks like you’ve got a hell of a lot of training to do.”  The three of you took us in.”

Sam took a deep breath at the revelation.  Not that Sam and Dean were still with JC in his resistance, because nothing could keep him from his brother’s side if there was trouble, but at the idea of who Derek was. 

JC shuffled back until he could sit heavily on the bed.  “Derek Reese?”

Dean looked over at Sam and he didn’t need to ask to know what his brother was saying.  He went to JC’s side and sat down.  Dean kept his gun on Derek but Sam knew he wasn’t going to take that shot.  Sam just sat next to JC, close enough his thigh brushed against his brother’s, their shoulders bumping.

“When I came back in time, I figured the name meant something to you that day.  I figured it meant I’d gotten to you and you knew us by name if nothing else.  That wasn’t right though.  You already know the name Reese.  You knew Kyle.”  Derek’s eyes were a little wild and Sam couldn’t blame him.  The only thing they knew about Kyle Reese was he’d come across time to die saving Sarah Connor’s life.  And without knowing, to give her a son.  Derek obviously didn’t know anything about what had happened to his brother.

“Dean?” JC’s voice called out and Sam knew what he was doing.  John Connor would be the leader of the human resistance, but here he was still just a young man that was too wrapped up in a need for family to know what the right call was.  He was deferring to his older brother and Sam, for all his love of them both, didn’t know if he could have made the call either.

Dean stared at Derek for a long moment before putting his gun away.  “Did John Connor ever tell you what happened to your brother?”

Derek just shook his head but there was so much need in his eyes.  Sam couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose one of his brothers and not know what had happened to him.  Hell, it’d been hard enough to go to Stanford and to have his connection to Dean cut off and he’d still had JC to keep him informed, to let him know how they both were.

“He came back in time to protect Sarah Connor against a Terminator.  He died, protecting her.”  Derek’s eyes closed in his grief but Dean only gave him a moment before continuing.  “But not before he gave her a son.”

“What?”  Derek’s eyes shot right back open, searching Dean’s face for any sign of deception. 

JC stood up then, drawing all eyes to him.  “Kyle Reese was my father.”

“No.  He can’t be.  You … John never said anything…”

“The only people who know are in this room and this secret stays that way.  The only way to make sure Kyle isn’t targeted for termination before he comes back is to make sure his importance is never known.”

Derek’s eyes stayed on JC the whole time, anger and something darker in his glare.  “You never said anything to me!” he screamed, taking a few steps closer to JC.

Sam stood, placing himself between JC and Derek but Dean was at the front, pushing Derek back against the wall in warning.  “You need to calm the hell down.”

When Dean pulled back enough, Derek didn’t say anything.  His eyes screamed betrayal at JC, but he just turned and walked out the door.  To Sam’s surprise, Dean let him go.

JC crumpled to the bed and Sam sat beside him, arm immediately wrapped around his shoulder.

“JC?” Dean asked as he looked at the two of them.

“She said I betrayed them.  The way Derek looked at me … who the hell am I going to become?”

Sam closed his eyes, praying his brother didn’t start down the guilt road again.  He didn’t know when it had started but when they’d met JC, only ten years old, he’d already had the weight of the world on his shoulders.  He knew his father’s death was his fault and he shouldered that blame.  He shouldered the death of every person in the world, of every life that would someday die at his orders, and Sam didn’t think he could take his own grief and JC’s need to take Jessica’s death as his own yet. 

Before he could think of anything else to say though, Dean cut through the moment.  “John Connor, the leader of the human resistance and the only thing keeping the machines at bay.”  Dean moved over to them then, crouched between JC’s legs.  “And don’t you dare think John Connor is any more capable of betrayal than JC is because Derek already confirmed what we’ve been telling you for years.  Sam and I?  We are always gonna be there to kick your ass when you forget you’re still just our snot-nosed little brother.  You got it?”

JC looked horrified and Sam caught a laugh bubbling up his throat.  He had an image of John Connor standing in front of his troops, face aghast as Dean sent him to his room for skipping training that morning.  His laughter had an edge of hysteria but before he could recover from it, JC had him pulled up onto the bed and had Sam wrapped up in his arms, comforting and secure.  Dean sat on the other side of Sam, not wrapping him up as he always used to, but his hands were in Sam’s hair, fingers pulling tight and then relaxing in the way he’s always done.  When his grief came crashing down, when the image of Jessica covered in blood refused to leave the inside of his eyelids, he let the whole world go black, knowing his brothers would keep him safe.

_**  
_

_It wasn’t unusual for John or Sarah to go missing for a few days longer than they’d planned, though Sarah was always better about calling to check in.  After one missed check in, JC was on edge and Dean didn’t know what to do about it.  Calling Sarah’s cell didn’t get them anywhere and his youngest brother wasn’t fooled with platitudes.  In the two years they’d been family, Dean had never seen him so uptight._

_The second night she didn’t come home, John took Dean aside and told him something had to be wrong and he was going to go find Sarah himself.  Dean knew his job and he took it seriously.  He didn’t need his father to tell him to take care of Sam and JC, didn’t need his father to remind him to check the salt lines, and he didn’t need his father to tell him everything was going to be alright.  He wanted the last one, but the look in John’s eyes was anything but alright.  He might not love Sarah Reese the way he’d loved Mary, but he cared about her and her son enough that his eyes showed the pain and worry that was underneath._

_Dean did the only thing he could do; he shouldered that weight and took Sam and JC to the miniature golf course when he picked them up from school that night.  Sam and JC both knew what he was doing, but Sam made an effort to keep all their spirits up and there wasn’t much Sam couldn’t do when he set his mind on it.  They didn’t forget their troubles, but they drowned in typical teen life and bravely refused to think about the lie it was._

_The next morning John was back and he tried to pull JC aside privately but Dean pulled Sam with him into the other room.  Maybe JC wasn’t really his brother, but he was close enough and he knew Sam felt the same way.  Besides, they still had a list to complete and they weren’t anywhere near done._

_They crept in quietly while their father was talking but both John and JC looked up when they walked in.  Dean could see the assessing glance but JC gave him an appreciative nod and he knew he’d done the right thing.  They took a seat, side by side on the bed as they watched their dad and JC standing by the desk against the other wall._

_“We don’t really know,” John kept talking, “but she’s not there anymore.  Whatever happened, whatever it was either took Sarah, or she’s running really hard from it.”_

_“We need to find her,” JC demanded.  “Why are we still here?”_

_John sighed and Dean felt a flash of fury at him for hurting JC like that.  “Because, JC, there’s not much of a chance she made it.  And if she did – because God knows if any woman could have survived it would be your mother – we have no way of finding her until she shows herself.”_

_JC was deflating before their eyes and Dean walked over, pressing his chest to JC’s back.  Sam was right beside him, his hand circling JC’s wrist in a show of support._

_“I… I should get going then,” JC’s voice was shallow, almost splintered, like he was afraid to take a deep enough breath to make it real._

_“Where?” John demanded before JC could even attempt to break away from them._

_“I … I have resources.  I know you don’t want-”_

_“JC, I think we know each other well enough by now to call bullshit,” John’s voice was soft but firm as he spoke.  “What was it that fool Singer told you?  That thing you boys are always talking about?  Family don’t end with blood?  If you think I’m letting you walk out that door on your own, you’re not as smart as Sarah always said you were.  You’re one of my boys now, no matter what.  If your mom survived, then she’ll know how to find us.  If not, then I sure as hell don’t want her haunting my ass for setting you out into the streets.”_

_Dean could feel the slight heave in JC’s chest as he tried to swallow down his pain.  JC could be hard as nails when he needed to be, but Dean knew his youngest brother better than that.  He was only holding on until he could let go._

_“Yes, sir,” JC answered softly before finally pulling away.  They let him go and when JC headed out the door it was to Dean that Sam and John looked to._

_“Give him a few minutes, Sammy,” Dean said softly, trying to figure out what the loss of Sarah might mean to him, to them all.  He looked at his father and took a deep breath.  “What happened?”_

_John looked down for a few minutes and Dean realized his father wasn’t handling it all that well either.  “I don’t know what happened,” John said as he continued to stare at his hands.  “The hunt  was supposed to be simple.  Salt and burn and out by morning but she called the first day and said something wasn’t adding up so she needed a few more days.  After going there, seeing what she did, I don’t think it was supernatural.”_

_Dean closed his eyes because if this wasn’t something unnatural then it was just human and dealing with human monsters had a whole other set of rules.  He didn’t want to think Sarah could fall to something as clumsy and mortal as humans but it was always possible._

_“Dad, can’t we do anything?” Sam asked, his voice shaking._

_Dean looked up at his brother and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling him close.  Sam had never had a mother before Sarah came into his life and he could see the pain in his eyes.  When he looked over Sam’s shoulder at his father, John was wiping at his red-rimmed eyes as well.  “Sammy, I’m going to go back, okay?  I’ll keep looking until I’ve exhausted every lead, but Sarah knows how to contact us and she knows how to track us if she needs to.  I’m sorry, son.  You know I’ll do everything to get Sarah back, I just …”_

_John didn’t finish and Sam was gripping Dean hard enough to leave bruises where his fingers were pressed.  “Come on, Sammy, we need to check on JC.”_

_Sam nodded and pulled away, heading to the door without stopping.  Dean watched him go, knowing his brothers would be able to comfort each other for a few minutes, hopefully stop the waterworks before Dean got there.  He didn’t begrudge them the need to let their pain out but Dean still hadn’t had time to process what Sarah’s disappearance meant to him and he’d never been good with the tearful scenes anyway._

_“Dean,” his father’s voice called him back and he turned to face him.  “I might be gone a few days.  I looked over the hunt and her hotel room, but it could take a while to sort out what happened.”_

_“And even longer if you find a lead to where she might be.  I understand.  I’ll take care of Sam and JC, you just find Sarah, one way or another.  JC doesn’t need to be left in limbo.  Neither does Sam.”  It was the first time he’d ever mentioned how strong the bond between Sam and Sarah had become, but he could see in his father’s eyes that he already knew.  Sarah might not have been the ideal mother, but she was pretty damn perfect for a hunter with a broken heart and two kids who’d never learned to trust.  She’d slid into their lives completely.  Dean understood her; hell, he tried to emulate her in a lot of ways.  He saw the calculating look she got sometimes when she watched John, the knowledge that she was working John towards something but Dean always knew what that something was.  There was nothing more important to Sarah than JC’s safety.  She was willing to throw him into a life of danger because she believed it was training him to be something more.  She believed JC had a target on his back and the only way to stop the danger was to make sure JC could defend himself.  That he was surrounded by people who would die to defend him, if need be.  She’d found that in the Winchester boys and Dean was okay with that.  She wasn’t the perfect mom, but Dean didn’t want a mom.  She was just Sarah, brash and cocky, yet completely insecure in how to handle her son.  It wasn’t just John that relied on Dean to deal with his son, and Dean and Sarah had built a strong relationship on their mutual need to see JC and Sam happy and healthy._

_Sarah did pretty good on the healthy part.  It was really up to Dean to provide the happy and he’d been doing a pretty good job of it so far.  He didn’t know if he could handle it all on his own though.  He pushed away that thought because until his father came back saying Sarah was dead, Dean wouldn’t believe it.  He pushed the panic away, forced his heartbeat back to normal and looked at his dad._

_“I’ll be in touch.  Call me if you have any problems.”_

_Dean watched as his father walked towards the door, his hunting duffel thrown over his shoulder.  He stopped as he reached Dean, dropping one hand to Dean’s shoulder.  “Take care of yourself too, Dean.”_

_Dean nodded but watched his father leave.  He pushed down the anger, that his father had let Sarah go alone, that she’d possibly gotten hurt without backup.  He couldn’t face that just yet either.  Instead he went to the bathroom and washed his face, trying to get rid of the angry flush coloring his face.  His father must have seen something, but it was just like him to leave Dean to deal with that alone too._

_He took a deep breath as he dried his hands and face, then left his father’s room – Sarah’s room – to go to his brothers.  He found them lying in a huddle on JC’s bed.  He sat at the edge of the bed, watching, but Sam turned and pulled him until Dean was lying between them.  JC had his head resting on Dean’s heart and Sam’s nose was buried in Dean’s neck._

_“Dad’s gone back to see what he can find.  If there is any lead to where Sarah is, he’ll find her trail now that he doesn’t have to worry about us,” Dean said as he worked a hand up and down JC’s back while his other was buried in Sam’s unruly mop of hair.  “Just gonna be us until he can find her.”_

_“How long will he be gone?” JC’s muffled voice asked._

_Dean tried not to think about the fact that his father had gone in alone after Sarah disappeared, but he hoped he had the sense to call Bobby or Caleb for a second set of eyes.  Sarah was important enough to John that Dean figured they were already working on it, even if he hadn’t mentioned anything to him.  “Until he figures it out, JC.”_

_“He’ll bring her back, right?” Sam asked as he shifted up to one elbow, looking up at Dean._

_Dean gave a half smile.  “Nothing will keep Dad from finding her, you know that, Sammy.”  When Sam leaned in, he didn’t try to move away, though he knew what was on his brother’s mind.  Dean was feeling a little of the same himself, the need to have his family close, to feel his brother’s heartbeat under his hands and know without a doubt that he was alive and well.  Sam’s lips pressed against his, soft and firm, in a chaste kiss.  He rested his forehead against Dean’s for a second before kissing him again, this time working Dean’s mouth open with his tongue._

_Dean let Sam use his mouth, ignoring the feel of Sam’s wet tears as they fell onto Dean’s cheeks.  When Sam finally pulled away, burying his face in Dean’s neck, JC leaned up ever so slightly.  Dean felt a small smile grace his lips before he pressed a kiss into JC’s forehead.  The twelve year old gave Dean a teary smile and went back to his resting place on Dean’s chest._

_Just like Sarah, JC had found his way into Sam and Dean’s lives as well.  He didn’t want them to protect him, even though he let them.  JC just wanted to be himself, to be able to admit when he was afraid or tired or too strung out from all the training and pressure.  He accepted Sam and Dean as his brothers as easily as Sam and Dean had accepted him and he never looked at them oddly for the things they considered common practice, like salting windows and speaking Latin after the lights went out just for practice.  And when things began to change between Sam and Dean, when the first touch was something more than innocent, JC had just shrugged it off as part of their fucked up lives, told them both they should take whatever love they could find because life wasn’t gonna get easier._

_“You don’t think,” JC whispered across Dean’s chest to his other brother, “that the terminators are back, do you?  John wouldn’t know the signs.”_

_Dean had been trying not to think about that possibility but there it was.  He didn’t know how Sarah managed to keep John in the dark about what she was really all about – the sex must be fucking amazing – but JC had confessed their darkest secret about a year after they’d met.  Their little brother JC – John Connor - was the leader of a future resistance that would keep mankind from being annihilated by machines.  And killer robots known as Terminators had been sent back in time more than once to make sure he never lived long enough to become that leader.  Skeptical at first, Dean and Sam did their research and found enough proof to back up what JC told them.  There was no mention of robots in any of the police reports but they watched the surveillance videos after hacking into the police files and Sam and Dean, with hunter’s eyes, both agreed whatever it was, it wasn’t human.  In time, they accepted JC’s story as the truth._

_“He doesn’t know about them, but he’d have said something if the room was destroyed, JC.  He would have us doing research on something that went that far out of bounds for a hunt.  We can hit up the library tomorrow though, right, Dean?  We can check out the area and see if any disturbances were noted that could mean a T came back in time.”_

_“Yeah, it’s Saturday.  We’ll stop for breakfast and hit the library when the doors open.”  He might hate the idea of spending the day in the library with not one but both his geek brothers, but it was better than leaving them to fret themselves sick about Sarah’s disappearance all day._

_“Thanks, Dean,” JC said, giving Dean the first real smile since they’d come home._

_“Don’t you worry, JC.  Sarah’s not gone for good.  She wouldn’t dare leave me alone with the two of you.  God knows what I would corrupt you into next.”_

_Sam and JC both laughed because Sarah was easily exasperated when Dean stole the boys out from under her training to let them blow off steam.  He’d only let them get drunk that one time, but she hadn’t let him hear the end of it.  Of course, he’d only been sixteen and his brothers had been twelve and ten at the time, but it wasn’t like any of them had been drunk enough to be hung-over.  Two years’ worth of griping had been worth it though.  That night had been the first time JC had really smiled at them._

_He pulled JC a little closer and wrapped his fingers a little tighter in Sam’s hair as he closed his eyes.  They didn’t move and after a while he could feel both Sam and JC’s breathing even out, emotional exhaustion taking them both down to sleep.  With his father gone and both boys resting, Dean let his own emotions build, let his fear and worry, his need for Sarah to come back, wash over him.  Neither brother was awake to see his tears, but even in their sleeping forms, they both moved closer to Dean, comforting him without ever waking up._

**

Derek sat across the booth from them, quiet and observant.  That seemed to be a default setting with him, mostly silent and watchful, eyes canvasing the scenery as they walked, taking in people’s arrivals and departures as they sat at the small diner.  He’d come back that morning with a nod to Dean, as if telling him whatever he’d run out over was done and Dean believed him.  Derek was a soldier straight through and Dean could read him fairly well for the straightforwardness of it.  He wasn’t sure how to take the way his eyes tracked JC, but he put the look off as a soldier’s regard for his favorite general.  It didn’t fit entirely but he left it at that.  Because if it did fit with what Dean thought, well that would explain why Derek had stormed off the night before.

The three of them watched JC disappear into the diner’s bathroom and Dean was just waiting.  He knew something was on Sam’s mind.  After last night, watching his brothers sleeping, Dean knew today would be the day for questions.  JC was still busy riding his guilt, but Sam’s mind didn’t work like that.  He saw points of connection and couldn’t stop until he figured out what it all meant.  You couldn’t just say the alphabet started with A and ended in Z.  Sam had to stop at every fucking letter along the way. 

 “Do you think Dad’s disappearance has something to do with this, Dean?”  Sam asked as soon as the door to the bathroom closed with their little brother safely out of the line of questioning. 

Dean was thankful that Sam, in his grief, hadn’t asked that one last night.  JC didn’t need that guilt on top of the rest.  “Dad was never all that good at keeping us informed about his worst hunts and it just got worse once JC hit 18.  He could just be on the trail of something.”

“It could be…” Sam left the statement open for him.

“Yeah.  With Jessie coming after JC again though and Derek here?  I find it hard to believe in that level of coincidence.”

“Jesus,” Sam breathed out. 

Sam and their father didn’t have an easy relationship.  Sam questioned too much, demanded too much, and he never gave an inch and John Winchester didn’t let anyone question his authority.  One of these days, the two were gonna realize they were so damn much alike and that’s why the rest of the family walked on eggshells when they were hashing it out.  Truth be told, Sarah hadn’t helped any in that situation, too caught up in keeping the boys alive.  They didn’t know how to give their kids security, they just kept them safe.  There was a long road between those two words though and Dean had walked between them for a long time, trying to give his little brothers what they needed.  John and Sarah had kept them safe.  Dean gave them security, letting them question and think for themselves, letting them be afraid and voice that.  Some days he was sure he was making things worse, but when the chips were down his brothers always had his back and he gave himself a little credit for that.

“I find it hard to believe she would have been able to get one up on Dad though, Sam,” Dean admitted.  “She got to JC when he was just a kid and between us we still got him out.  Dad took off before what happened to you.  If she’d gotten to Dad she wouldn’t have come to Stanford.  She would have tried to use him as leverage against JC.  Wherever Dad is, he’s buried in something, but I’m sure it’s connected somehow.”

Sam nodded, then got out of the booth without another word, heading to the back of the diner where the bathrooms were.  Dean wanted to follow, knowing this was about the hell Sam had just been through, but he couldn’t. 

“You never said you were sorry.”

“What?”

Derek was playing with his coffee cup but he looked up at Dean.  “You never told Sam you were sorry about what happened to Jessica.  For years, he carried around this idea you were glad she’d died, that you thought she was the one keeping him from coming back.”

“Bullshit.  Sam knows … I’d never …”

“Sam’s grieving and we’re on the run from a killer.  Her death is just getting blown aside so you can deal with the ones that are still alive.  I get it.  But it will take Sam years to realize it if you don’t find a way to tell him now.”

Dean looked away from Derek and the other man didn’t press the matter.  Dean wanted to tell him he was wrong but he could see the way his brother could think that.  As hard a time as Dean had of saying things, Sam needed to hear them. 

He couldn’t really concentrate on that just yet though, not with his two brothers upset and this stranger sitting across from him, acting like he knew them from Adam.  A stranger who apparently _did_ know them and could talk about intimacies Dean would never allow anyone else to talk with him about.

“How do you know about me and Sam?” he settled on.  “I doubt it’s really everyday conversation.”

“You two aren’t exactly subtle.  Lots of people think something is going on there but the world is gone to hell and no one is about to call out two of John’s top Lieutenants for something like that.”

Dean nearly spit out his coffee, choking the liquid down a second before responding.  “Wait.  You’re saying in the future… Sam and I ….”

“You’re together.  Yeah.”  Derek took a bite out of his bacon before throwing it down on the plate with a quick look back over his shoulder to where JC and Sam were still in the bathroom.  “Least I know why incest doesn’t bother him.”

It hit him suddenly, that he knew Derek.  Not presently of course, but he saw how closed off Derek was, how he kept to himself.  He didn’t have slips of the tongue and what he’d just revealed said too much about himself and his relationship with John Connor.  Dean might not know this Derek, but Derek knew Dean and he was having trouble remembering he wasn’t the same man.  Not yet.

“I figured that’s what you ran out about last night,” Dean said softly.  “JC has always known who his father was and he’s never going to be able to tell anyone else.  He’s too afraid of what letting that secret out might mean.  If we hadn’t met him when we did I doubt we’d know either.”

Derek nodded.  “I know this doesn’t bother you, I mean you and Sam, but I would never have touched him like that.  I would never have taken his offers if I’d known he was Kyle’s son.”

“Look, JC never had the chance to look at the world like a normal person, him and Sam both.  They cling to the things they have because their whole lives they’ve been taught how everything can be taken away. Our mother died by a demon’s hand hanging over Sam’s crib when he was six months old and JC has been John fucking Connor since before he was born.  People like you and me, that remember a little, we have more trouble with it than they do, but in the end, who are we hurting?” Dean asked.  “I fucking carved my heart out for Sam when he went to Stanford because letting him go was the right thing to do.  We might get a whole hell of a lot of things wrong, but this?  Loving someone, that ain’t wrong.”

The door to the bathroom opened and Dean saw his brothers coming out together.  Both looked a little better for a few minutes alone and Dean nodded to Derek so the man didn’t say anything inappropriate.  JC didn’t have any idea what was going on in Derek’s head and if Derek couldn’t come to term with his feelings then JC didn’t need to hear it.  Dean was keeping the other revelation to himself as well.  The idea of him and Sam finding a way back to what they were?  Yeah he still wanted that, but there was nothing in the past two years that showed him Sam wanted to be with him.  Sam has asked him to cut him free, to let him live a normal life and he had.  Just because Sam was back on the hunt while his brothers were in danger and he needed to stop the woman who had killed the girl he loved didn’t mean he was back for Dean.

He just had to keep reminding himself of that. 

Dean got up and let JC slide into the booth.  They were done with breakfast, all of them nursing their coffees because no one wanted to talk about what to do next.  Dean didn’t have the luxury of burying his head though.  “So, you came back to protect JC from this woman.  How do we track her now?”

Derek shook his head.  “No need to track her.  She set this whole thing up so she could find John.  She’ll have been watching Sam at the hospital.  She’ll find you and follow you.”

“She wasn’t following me on the way back from the hospital.  I know how to spot a tail,” Dean said.

“No, but she might have seen your car and she might have developed other contacts over the years.  Like I told you, once I found a hunter it wasn’t hard to figure out where the Winchester boys were.  Jessie’s good at what she does and she’s relentless.  Whatever made her flip, I doubt she’s become any less capable.”

“So you think we should just wait around for her to catch us?”

Derek shrugged.  “She will find you.  If you just go about your normal routines, she’ll probably find you faster.”

Dean couldn’t bite back his growl.  “Goddamn it!  I am not using my brothers as bait!”

He got up and pulled his wallet out, ignoring the confused looks Derek and JC were giving him.  He dropped money on the table for breakfast and walked out. 

He didn’t need to look back to know Sam would be scrambling out of his seat to get to him and a conversation with his brother was the last thing he wanted.  He needed time to come to terms with Sam being there again, time to reel in his instinct to pull Sam close.  They weren’t lovers anymore and wasn’t sure how close to that line he could hold on and not cross over. 

He made it to the car before Sam caught up to him.  “Dean, I don’t think Derek meant that.”

Dean jerked open the door and stared at Sam over the hood.  “No, he just wants us to wait around until she makes the next move.  Which will be to take a shot at one of you.”

“You got any other ideas because I haven’t heard one yet.”

“No, I don’t, but there are other ways, Sam.  No one is thinking about them yet.  We just … we gotta treat this like any other hunt and stop going for the most dangerous choice just because it might work.”

“You know she’s coming again, Dean.  She didn’t kill Jess just to let me go free.  Derek’s right.  Whatever else happened, she wanted to get to JC.”

Dean’s eyes softened at the mention of Jess and he momentarily froze with Derek’s words in his head.  It wasn’t the time or place though and he knew JC would be out there soon.  “Yeah, she’s coming.  I’d rather get to her first though.  I don’t like using either of you as bait, but I sure as hell know how to use you as weapons.  Bitch won’t know what hit her if we can track her down first.”

 Sam nodded but there was something in his eyes that made Dean shiver, something that reminded him of their father in the early years, before Sarah had come and taught him to live a little.  Something that looked like revenge and sacrifice and all the things Dean had tried to keep from his brother.

“First thing we need to do is track down the police report.  We need to see what they have to say about your apartment.  Maybe they found something about Flores we can use, something they wouldn’t know.  If we can’t, then we go to Bobby.”

Sam nodded and Dean could see JC and Derek coming out of the diner to join them.  He wasn’t so sure he liked that he trusted Derek with JC’s safety already but he did and there it was.  He’d been raised to trust his instincts and it had saved his ass time after time.  He nodded to Derek when they joined them.  “We’re doing this my way.  Maybe she’ll find us first, but we’re gonna try to track her down on our own.”

JC brushed his hand up against Dean’s arm, a moment of physical comfort before sliding into the back of the Impala.  Sam got into the passenger side and it was almost like old times.  Derek looked at him though and Dean held his eyes. 

“I would never let anything happen to either of them, Dean.”

Dean swallowed against the lump in his throat because the confidences Derek had shared in the diner made Dean feel the need to do the same.  “Yeah, but you aren’t the first to suggest it and I’ll be damned if I let anyone hurt Sam or JC more than they already have.  Not this bitch who already took too much from them.”

“Let’s go find her then.”

**

_“John, if you’re expecting me to cook I’m expecting that table to be cleaned in the next 10 minutes.”_

_“What do you need the table for?” John asked as he looked up from the weapons he was cleaning._

_Sarah crossed her arms under her chest and arched an eyebrow at him.  “John.”_

_John got up and Dean continued cleaning the weapons.  JC and Sam both moved over to help their older brother.  If Sarah wanted the table cleaned in 10 minutes and John wanted the weapons cleaned, they both needed to get done.  Sam caught Dean’s grin and he knocked shoulders with JC.  His lips were turned up into a smile and it was all Sam could do not to laugh out loud._

_“Ah, come on, Sarah.  You know the weapons need cleaned.  Besides, who asked you to cook dinner?  I saw you eyeing that place on the way in.  What say you get cleaned up and we head out to that place?”_

_“Winchester …”_

_“Just the two of us.  The boys ate on the way in and they’ll be fine if we bring ‘em something back, right boys?”_

_“Yes, sir,” they said in unison._

_“John…”_

_“Go get cleaned up, Sarah.”_

_She looked at him for one more minute before shaking her head, a small smile on her face.  “You boys will be alright without us for a few hours?”_

_“Yes ma’am.”_

_They finished the stack of weapons that had been on the table, Sam polishing off the last one as Dean and JC packed the rest away as Sarah came out wearing a simple black dress.  She looked beautiful and Sam couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen her smile like that.  She tried to be this hard soldier all the time, but Sam could see the delight in her eyes that John was going to take her out for the evening.  He wasn’t sure what he saw in his dad’s eyes, but he was looking at her softer than he’d ever seen before._

_“Don’t worry, Sarah, I’ll keep an eye on them until you get back,” Dean reassured._

_She rolled her eyes and winked at Sam. “Which means you get to keep him out of trouble.”_

_Sam laughed as he finished putting together the last piece of the gun he was cleaning.  Dean was smirking at him too.  Their dad pulled Sarah out the door and stopped just before he walked out.  He looked at the table of clean weapons and at all three of the boys he was leaving behind.  “Thanks boys.  Sarah needed to get out.  We’ll be back soon.”_

_“And we’ll be in our room when you get back,” Dean said.  “Don’t forget to get breadsticks!”_

_“I want alfredo,” Sam called out._

_“Pizza!” JC hollered as John laughed, shutting the door behind him._

_Sam looked over at Dean and saw his brother grabbing the bag to shove the weapons back in.  He never knew how Dean was going to take the relationship John had with Sarah.  He’d never show any signs of disapproval or concern to their dad, but Sam saw the looks sometimes.  Not that he didn’t like Sarah, because Dean and Sarah got along like crazy, but Dean remembered his mom and dad together.  Sometimes Dean got hurt by it all and his brother was far too stoic to admit his feelings._

_Dean was smiling as the bag was filled up though and Sam relaxed.  It’d only been a year since Sarah and JC had come into their lives and everything was different now.  Sam just wanted to take care of his big brother, to get Dean to lean on him the way JC leaned on them.  The same way Dean was always there for the rest of them._

_“Come on guys.  TNT has a thriller marathon on,” Dean called out as he hefted the bag.  He stopped outside John and Sarah’s room long enough to dig his keys out and he put the weapons back in the trunk of the Impala.  JC had the other key to their room so he opened the door and they waited as Dean ran down to the vending machines.  He came back with sodas for them and a bag of chips each.  Dean was a pro at jimmying the locks on the machines and he was smart enough not to take too much at a time._

_They settled on JC’s bed and turned on the TV.  Horror movies were something to laugh at for them and dramas never felt real either.  It was hard to let things like that bother you when you lived the life they did.  A good thriller though would keep them guessing and the three of them loved to pick apart the scenes, constantly talking over one another to figure out what was happening._

_They all got into their sleep wear, which was just boxers and tee shirts, except for Dean who preferred to sleep without a shirt on.  Dean sat back against the headboard and JC snagged the pillows from the other bed and made himself a mound next to Dean.  Before the night was over they all knew he’d be asleep on his pillows with an arm over Dean’s lap but JC had learned to stop getting embarrassed over his unconscious movements._

_Sam waited until his brothers were comfortable before he worked his way up under Dean’s arm and rested his head against his brother’s chest.  He kept himself from pressing his lips there, like he wanted to.  No matter how much Dean loved him, Sam doubted he’d ever thought of his gangly 13 year old brother like that, but Sam couldn’t help his own thoughts.  He took a deep breath of Dean’s scent, let his fingers rest against his brother’s warm skin and suppressed the shudder that wanted to take hold._

_**_

 

JC was the one who actually managed to get into the police files and find what they needed.  As good as Sam used to be at hacking, he was out of practice.  JC tried not to gloat, because there was nothing funny at Sam wanting to live a normal life even if they’d always known it would be short lived.  Sam had to go off, JC knew that.  It didn’t mean he hadn’t been hurt by that choice though and Dean had been devastated.  He held himself together most of the time, but those few times when he let the pain out JC had been the one to deal with the aftermath; the broken knuckles and drunken bar fights. 

Derek was in the bathroom, the water still running.  Derek more than enjoyed his shower apparently.  JC tried not to think about a world without hot running water and if he took a little more time in the shower to appreciate the amenities in the next few days he doubted he’d be alone.  Six years of access apparently hadn’t stopped Derek’s appreciation. 

Sam was stretched out on his stomach, lying across the bed next to the door and Dean was cleaning weapons.  Not that they needed cleaning, but JC could see his brother needed something to do with his hands.  Sam was going through JC’s journal, all the notes he’d made about what his mother knew of the future.  Names and places she’d rattled off, things Uncle Bob – yes, it was the only way he could think of him – had mentioned.  There was no mention of Flores, but sometimes it was worth the reminder of the grim reality they would face.  As bad as they’d sometimes had it, moving around like they had, they never forgot what the future was gonna be like. 

“You find anything yet?” Dean asked as he saw JC looking over at Sam.

“I got the files. I’m trying to hack into the fire department also, see if I can get their findings too.”

“You think they’ll have anything different to say?” Dean asked.  Sam hadn’t looked up yet and JC knew he’d kept his face down because talking about Jessica’s death was too much.  He wasn’t ready yet but he couldn’t go hide in the bathroom and he had to know both Dean and JC would go after him if he tried to leave the room. 

“I don’t know.  But we don’t really know what we’re looking for so the more information I can get us, the more likely we are to find it.”

“Yeah,” Dean said softly, looking over at Sam.  

JC had never seen his oldest brother so conflicted about what to do.  He’s always known how to take care of Sam and now he was spinning on his heels, constantly reaching out and then pulling away before Sam realized how much Dean needed to comfort him.  Dean was so lost in his own need that he didn’t realized it was the same thing Sam needed as well.  Sam had loved his girl, no doubt about his feelings there, but Jess had always been the one he could have.  The one he could keep.  Dean had been, and always would be, the love of Sam’s life.  Going to Stanford hadn’t just been about giving up hunting and nasty motel rooms.  Sam had been terrified of Dean killing himself because of him, too many hunts where Dean had pushed Sam aside to take the hit himself, or where he’d drawn attention to himself to keep a creature from turning on Sam.  He did the same for JC, just as Sam did, but there was something desperate in the way Dean protected Sam and they all knew it.  Sam was Dean’s life and he’d been protecting him since he was 4 years old.  The instinct wasn’t something he could stop and Sam had come to a point where he couldn’t watch Dean put himself in danger for him over and over again.

“I’ll let you know when I’ve got it all.”

The water stopped running in the other room and JC couldn’t help but wonder if his uncle was like that every time he got in the shower or if he’d been neglecting his ritual while he’d been hunting down John Connor. 

The door opened a second later, a cloud of steaming billowing out around Derek as he stepped from the bathroom.  His uncle was wearing tight boxers but was naked other than that.  He stared at the tattoos working their way around his body.  He’d seen the tattoo from the camps but none of the others.  For some reason, it was fitting, to see him marked with ink and scars.  His body was muscular, the type that came from hard living, not a gym.  JC knew his hands were hard and calloused but he could imagine them being gentle.  This man was a soldier like Dean, someone who protected and served, not someone who was looking for the next fight. 

When Derek bent over to grab a shirt from his duffle, JC finally looked away only to find Dean staring at him.  There was a smirk on his lips but JC looked away quickly, going back to the computer files. 

Derek’s words from their first meeting were still too close, the reminder of what was between his brothers and what he’d never had.  He wasn’t a virgin by any means – being Dean’s brother meant he made sure JC had plenty of choices – but he’d never been in love, never even given the thought of staying with someone longer than a weekend a thought.  Dean and Sam had been right about one thing, no one could ever understand them like one another.  He looked at Derek and thought maybe a soldier from the future could understand him. 

Sam moved across the room and JC looked over at him, trying to find something else to hold his attention while the man threw his tee shirt on.

Sam mouthed the word ‘uncle’ at him, letting him know he’d seen the way JC looked at Derek.  He retaliated, as he always had, mouthing ‘brother fucker’ at him.  It was an old jab but Sam’s eyes went wide and for a second JC realized how Sam might take it.  But then Sam was laughing and JC was laughing with him, leaving Dean and Derek to look at them like they’d lost their minds.

It felt good though, to have his brother laughing.  It wasn’t right, not yet; Sam’s laugh was too high and wild, but Sam handled his grief different than JC and Dean.  Sam needed to see that he was living, that there was something more than the pain that ate at him.  He needed his brothers to remind him of that and if Dean couldn’t offer the comfort of his arms, JC could still do his part.

 

**

 

“Dean?”

“Dad?” 

JC and Sam sat up where they were on the bed.  Derek seemed to sense the tension in the room but Dean noticed those facts in his periphery.  His attention was completely on the voice on the other end of the phone.  “Dad, where are you?”

“Dean, listen closely. I don’t have time.  I finally have it.”

“What?”

“A lead on Sarah.  One of my contacts saw the woman that took her.  I was following her.  It seemed to be her home base so I stuck around and did some digging.  I might have found her Dean but I need you to come.”

“Jesus, Dad.  Tell me where.”

“I’m in a small town outside of Boone, Iowa.  How far away are you?”

“We can be there in …” Dean tried to calculate the time but John cut him off.

“Hurry, Dean.  We’ve only got one shot at this.  Call me when you’re close.”

The line went dead and Dean stared at his cell.  

“Dean?”

It took a minute for Dean to focus back on the others.  He knew something was wrong.  The voice on the other end of the phone sounded like his dad, except for two things.  His father knew they travelled all of the states.  He’d want to know an approximate time they were gonna make it so he knew if he had time to wait for back up.  The second thing was that Sarah had trained him enough to ask after her boys.  If his father called, he always asked about Sam and JC even if he hung up after an OK.    

Dean scrubbed his hand over his face because he knew what that meant, what his suspicions meant.  “I think … I just talked to a terminator.”

His brothers were open mouthed, gaping but Derek was suddenly in front of him.  “What did it say?”

“He said… he sounded like our dad.  He said he knew where Sarah was and he needed us there.”

“Could it have been John?” JC asked.

Dean shook his head.  “He didn’t ask about either of you, JC, and he didn’t give me time to tell him how long it would take to get there.  Maybe, it sounded like him, but I wouldn’t stake our lives on it.”

“What do we do, Dean?” Sam asked.  “If it’s a terminator, it could have Dad.”

“If it was a terminator he’s probably dead already,” Derek pointed out.

Dean nodded.  “But maybe not.  If there’s a possibility he’s not, I have to go find him.”

“We have to go find him.”  Sam asserted. 

“We all go.”  JC had his arms crossed over his chest and Dean could see the steel in his eyes.  Most of the time JC followed their lead, but there were times when Dean could see the man Sarah always said would come, the leader of men.

“Absolutely not,” Derek said with a shake of his head.  “You can’t walk into this thing’s trap, John.”

Dean smirked.  “Thought you wanted to use him as bait.”

“Baiting a trap and walking into one are two different things, Dean.”  Derek reprimanded.

“I would never use my brothers at bait,” Dean said as he glared at Derek.  “But I’m not going to let my father be killed by a terminator if I can do anything about it.”

“And if he’s already dead?”

“Then we kill the son of a bitch who did it to him.”

“Dean, you know this is a bad idea.”

Dean looked at him and smiled.  “You said you know me Derek?”

Derek looked at him for a minute, shaking his head.  “Damn it, Dean.”

Dean smiled and then Derek was smiling at him too.  “Knew you’d come along for the ride.”

“This is the stupidest thing we’ve ever done, and I remember a lot of stupid you haven’t done yet.”

“He’s in Iowa.  Pack your bags boys” Dean said to Sam and JC.  “I want to be on the road in two hours with everything you two can find out about Boone, Iowa.”

**

“You really think this will work?” Derek asked as he watched JC coming out of the bathroom in their motel room. 

JC shrugged.  “We’ve got the element of surprise.  What, you don’t trust Dean’s plan?” 

Derek smirked at him.  “I’ve been through a number of Dean’s plans.  I trust him to get me through just about anything.  However, his plans never work.”

JC couldn’t help but laugh.  “Yeah, you do know, Dean.”  He watched Derek for a moment before taking a seat next to him on the one bed in the room.  “What about me?”

“What?”

“You know things you shouldn’t.  You talk to Dean like you’re old pals, but you still won’t tell me how you know the things you do.”

“I told you.  We’re close in the future.”

“I don’t … I don’t do close.”

Derek gave a short laugh.  “No, you don’t.  But you do family.”

“You didn’t know I was family.” JC pointed out.

“No, I didn’t but you did.  You let Kyle and I in.”

He wasn’t sure what he saw in Derek’s eyes but JC knew his uncle was embarrassed about something.  He couldn’t push it, didn’t know him well enough yet to do so.  Besides, they had a long drive in the morning if they were going to get in place. 

“We should get some sleep.”

“I’ll take the floor,” Derek offered.

“That’s ridiculous.  We can share the bed.”

“Yeah, Dean is laughing his ass off about now.”

“Why’s that?”

Derek just rolled his eyes as he climbed under the sheets of the queen sized bed next to JC.  “Because Dean doesn’t think anyone should sleep alone when they don’t have to.”

JC understood what he was implying.  “And the fact that you’re my uncle?”

Derek shook his head.  “Yeah, remember what your brothers are doing in their spare time?”

JC laughed but he crawled under the covers.  Derek turned the lights off and then JC was left staring at the ceiling, lying next to the man he was trying not to let himself be attracted to. 

“His plans are crazy, but somehow things always works out alright.  If John Winchester is still alive, we’ll find him, John.”

He felt comforted by the words and fell asleep a few minutes later.

**

“Dean?”

“Yeah, Sammy?”

“You planning on staying up all night?”

Dean continued to stare at the computer.  “Just making sure it all goes right.”

“Or watching porn.”

Dean smirked.  “A guy has to have priorities.”

“Well I have mine.  Come to bed so I can get some damn sleep.”

“Sammy...”

“Now, Dean.”

Sam watched Dean as he finally shut down the laptop.  Not that there was anything on there to help with their current plan, but he could see the way Dean was trying not to look at him.  Sam needed Dean with him though, he needed to feel his brother close tonight. 

Dean let out a heavy sigh and then he was stripped off his tee shirt and dropping his pants, crawling into bed beside Sam in just his boxers.  Dean turned out the light, then immediately turned onto his side, his back to Sam.  Sam listened to his breathing for a few minutes, remembering how just a few nights ago he’d been doing the same with Jess.  He bit his lip to keep back the chocked sob that wanted to come out.  He needed to forget the pain, forget how much he hadn’t deserved her, how she had died because she’d been in his life.  He reached for Dean, pulling up against his brother’s back.

“Sammy,” Dean’s voice was a harsh whisper but it was fear – just fear – that had his brother so distant.  “I can’t give you what she could.”

Sam pressed his forehead down between Dean’s shoulder blades, felt the tears rising even as he tried to force them back.  “No,” he whispered back, “and she could never give me what you could.”

“Yeah?  Why’s that?”

There was no malice in Dean’s voice, no bitterness at the way Sam had walked out of his life and begged Dean to let him go.  There was honest curiosity and concern.  Dean had no idea the effect he had on Sam, the way his constant need to protect Sam made him feel loved and safe.  The way a simple question could turn Sam inside out because Dean knew him better than anyone. 

“She was smart and beautiful and she loved me, Dean,” He confessed to his brother’s back.  “She was so small, but feisty and she had a mouth on her.  If you’d ever met her, you’d have liked her.”

Dean nodded and as Sam let his hand creep up along his brother’s back, up to his hip and finally across to his heart, Dean took his hand and held it there.  “She loved me, but she never understood me.  I felt so much when I was with her, but I never felt safe.  I never felt like that life was real.  It was like I was living in a dream, always knowing my real life was somewhere else.”

“Sam, stop.”

“You … you just never stopped, Dean.  Every hunt I was afraid of losing you and I couldn’t keep living like that.  I thought if I moved on maybe you could too.  I just didn’t want to be afraid all the time.  When I first got to Stanford I just let it all go, but the closer I got to Jess, the more scared I became.  She didn’t get me and she never could.  I spent so much energy and time diverting her from the things I didn’t want her to know.  She loved me, and she died because of me, and I never let her know me.”

Dean turned then and Sam had to shift back to give his brother room.  “She died because of some bitch, Sam.  She died because someone is trying to kill JC and she’s using the people he loves to get to him.  This isn’t your fault.”

Sam nodded but tears were falling across his nose and down to the pillow.  He couldn’t look up at Dean, too afraid of what he’d see in his eyes, pity or maybe some sort of self-flagellation for not having been there to protect Sam himself.  He felt the soft press of his brother’s fingertips against his cheek and he couldn’t help but look.  It wasn’t what he expected though.  Dean’s eyes showed the same thing they always had, his need to take care of Sam and his absolute love. 

He choked back another sob but he leaned in even as he did so, pressing his lips to his brother’s.  Dean didn’t pull away.  There was no indication that he hadn’t been expecting this and Sam tried not to think about what his brother was feeling just then.  He needed the safety of his brother’s arms and he knew Dean wouldn’t deny him that.

When Sam licked across his bottom lip, Dean opened without pause, his arms reaching around Sam, pulling him close.  Sam let his free hand drop, his fingers teasing across the waistband of Dean’s boxers. 

“Sammy?”

“Dean, please.”

Dean pulled him in then, let him back in, and didn’t let him go until they’d both broken apart and found one another again.

**

The drive was about as comfortable as he’d expected it to be.  Sam rode with JC in the jeep and Derek was in the Impala with Dean.  JC wasn’t sure what had happened between his brothers the night before, but where Sam seemed a little less tense, Dean was twice as jumpy as before.  He knew what it probably meant and he was glad of the drive with Sam since it gave him time to vent a little.  By the time they arrived two towns outside of Boone, Sam had an earful about walking out on Dean and thinking he could just come right back without paying attention to Dean’s feelings about it.  They both knew Dean would take him right back in, but that didn’t mean Dean’s self-esteem could handle it.  Dean had a lot of issues and Sam walking out had stirred them all up.  If Sam even thought of walking again, JC wasn’t sure he’d be able to pick Dean back up from that. 

Not that Sam took the words well.  In fact, in true Sam fashion, he got angry with JC for even suggesting he’d hurt Dean.  He admitted to wanting to be with Dean, to never having stopped, but whatever was happening it wasn’t just for right now.  If he chose to go back to school – and Sam said the idea was a pretty big if – he wasn’t leaving his family behind.

JC wasn’t in the mood for it.  He loved Sam, he did, but Sam didn’t know what Dean had been like when Sam cut the ties.  Sam wasn’t the one that had to watch Dean walk out the door every time Sam called or see the way he sat, tense and unyielding because he refused to ask how Sam was doing without him.

As soon as the cars stopped outside the small motel Sam was out of the Jeep and moving to Dean’s side.  JC took a deep breath and tried to remember that whatever happened was Dean’s choice to make.  Sam just better remember his promise because JC wasn’t above taking him down a peg or two, no matter who the older brother was.

Derek walked over to him and JC smiled at that.  Dean and Sam were walking to the office to get them settled in and JC was glad he had a reason to stay back. 

“They always that tense?”

“They aren’t where you’re from?’ JC asked.

Derek just shook his head.  “Dean’s always lookin’ for something to come through the walls, but Sam smiles a lot more.”

“He just lost his girlfriend,” JC reminded Derek.  No matter that he was pissed at his older brother, JC still felt like he needed to defend him.

“Yeah, but that’s not the tension we’re talking about, now is it?”

JC just shrugged then because there was really nothing he could say about that.  “They’ll be okay though, in the future, right?”

Derek shrugged.  “They’re still there, bitching at each other and making everyone else crazy.”  He was smiling as he finished the words though.

“Good to know some things don’t change.”

Derek gave a sharp bark of laughter, like JC had said something funny.  Derek didn’t answer his questioning look and JC let it go.  When Sam and Dean came back Sam threw a room key at them and it was time to get to work.

Their rooms were around the back corner and Derek was just setting his bags inside the room when one of the most beautiful women he’d ever seen walked over to him.  She had a small smile on her full lips.  Her eyes didn’t show any emotion though and JC was already taking a step back when Derek came out of their room.

“Cameron?”  The girl looked up at Derek and suddenly Derek had a gun pulled.      

“Derek Reese,” her voice had an odd inflection to it and just the name was enough for JC to remember where he’d heard that specific blandness before.

“JC, It’s metal!” Derek had him by the wrist and pushed him back towards the front end of the Jeep before JC could do anything.

“I came to protect you, John Connor.”

“Who sent you?”  Derek wasn’t moving and Sam and Dean had heard the commotion and come out, guns drawn.  Cameron looked at them and nodded before she turned back to JC. 

“Dean Winchester.”

“What is your mission?” JC asked.

“To protect your ass,” she said with the same intonation ‘Uncle Bob’ had used.  It may have been years since the first terminator has been sent back to save his life, but JC remembered the terminator clearly.  The terminator had allowed himself to be destroyed to prevent the future.  It hadn’t worked, but JC could still remember clinging to his mother as she lowered him into the heated metal that would destroy him.

The terminator looked over at Sam then and nodded.  “And to make sure Sammy stays out of trouble.”

“Jesus,” Derek said, putting his gun away.  “You started letting Dean reprogram Ts.  We’re going to get to the future and find a string of metal call girls.”

Dean smirked.  “Don’t hate the player.”

The metal was watching the interaction and JC relaxed.  “Alright.  We’re just gonna get into our rooms and then we need to find out where to meet John.  Or the terminator that’s impersonating him.”

“You found the T-1000?”

JC let out a deep breath.  “We think there is a terminator in the area.  You’re saying something else came back though?”

“Skynet sent other models back to the past to try to strengthen its hold on humanity.  Some have orders to kill John Connor, but not all of them.”

“Awesome.”  Dean’s smirk wasn’t pleased though.  “It was bad enough knowing they coming for you, JC.  Now we have to worry about hunting down strays?  Just awesome.”

“My mission is to protect John Connor, not to hunt other terminators.”

“And if you come across another terminator trying to kill JC?”

“I will fulfill my mission.”

Dean nodded.  “Then get inside.  We have a call to make and the day isn’t getting any younger.”

**

The call went smoothly and only the increased tension in Dean’s shoulders said anything was amiss.  The second call had cemented the situation in Dean’s mind whereas before it had just been another suspicion.  Derek had been watching the Winchester brothers long enough to know it.  Dean might prepare for the worst but he always kept hope.  Derek didn’t know where he got that trait from but it was there anyway.  To keep himself busy Dean had taken out the whetstone and was working their knives.

Sam was on the computer and Derek had no idea what he was looking for.  When Sam got nervous though he wanted to research, needed to dig into the things they knew and pick and pry until there was nothing left unthought-of.

John was talking to the metal and Derek kept his eyes there.  His, Jesus, his _nephew_ , was grilling her for information she might have about what had happened to John Winchester and Sarah Connor but if Cameron knew anything they must have programmed her to silence. 

He hated seeing her there, metal wearing Allison’s beautiful face, but one of her kind had been reprogrammed to guard John in the future and Derek had gotten used to shoving the pain aside.  He didn’t like it, didn’t trust her as far as he could throw her – and he couldn’t even pick her up – but John did the work himself and said she was as trustworthy as a human.  It hadn’t made Derek feel better when John had smirked and commented “How many grays have we caught?”

Dean and Sam were talking back and forth over the table though Derek didn’t try to figure out what they were saying.  The tension between them wasn’t getting any better really but they were settling into it like it was an old comfortable couch.  He’d seen it before and he was sure he’d see it again.  You couldn’t be close to two people who were so passionately wrapped up in one another and not be there to witness the fights a time or two.  Or thirty considering how often Sam or Dean threw the other out of harm’s way on missions. 

He watched Sam flip a knife out to Dean, hidden somewhere Derek hadn’t even seen, and Dean’s smile was wide and welcoming.  Sam extended the hilt out for Dean to take, another knife to sharpen, but it seemed to settle something between them.  Tension still thick, but the Winchester brothers were still good, no matter what happened.

It felt too much like home, like old times, and Derek got up, walking out of the room because he needed to keep his head in the now.  He needed to remember this wasn’t his family.  He’d said way too much to Dean already, so damn easy to forget the man in front of him wasn’t the same.  Sure he was the same cocky, overprotective ass in the future, but he was missing the scars the future had given them all.  A look at Dean’s clean, un-tattooed wrist helped remind him.  They’d never been in a work camp together.  They’d never planned battles at John Connor’s side.  But Dean’s laughter was the same, his need to protect Sam and John was the same.  His need to protect and teach and protect his own hadn’t changed since he’d first taken in the Reese boys and trained them how to fight, how to survive.

Derek walked across the parking lot and found an old picnic table set up at the edge.  The table was beat all to hell and looked like it’d been left for trash until someone dragged it here, but Derek sat up on the top then laid back on the surface, staring up at the sky.  It was one of the few indulgences he allowed himself; long hot showers, good meals, and the sun on his face.

He heard the crack of shoes crossing over the gravel but he didn’t look up.  He knew who it was even without asking.  The three men in that room didn’t know Derek Reese from anyone else, but Derek knew them.

He didn’t want to think about what had been said, but John wasn’t going to let him ignore it either.  Just by being there John brought up a whole host of issues he didn’t even know about.  John of the future though, he knew and Derek wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to forgive him of that.  He’d never told Derek what happened to Kyle.  He’d never told Derek that Kyle was his father.  He’d let them become lovers, actively pursued Derek when he’d been hesitant, and never told him that Derek was his uncle, his blood.

“Derek?”

He felt the wood of the picnic bench shift as John sat down on the seat. 

“Yeah, John?”

“You don’t trust her.”

“She’s metal.  You reprogramed a few.  Sometimes they were loyal.  Sometimes they went bad and killed good people.”

“I must have had a reason for doing it.”

“Yeah, you said you did.  Didn’t share it with the rest of us though.”

John was quiet then and Derek looked over at him.  He was close enough Derek could reach out and grab him, pull him in for a kiss and it was damn tempting.  It’d been six years since he’d come out to this world, ready to protect his family but unable to find them.  Six years since he’d seen his lover.  This wasn’t that John Connor though and there were enough differences that he could pull away.

The soft crackle came again and Derek saw Sam and Dean coming close.  Cameron stood at the door of the Winchester’s room, watching the world around them, though he knew she could hear everything they said even at that distance.

“When I was ten years old a terminator came after me.  The T killed my foster parents and killed a whole lot of other people to get to my mom.  But I’d reprogrammed another terminator and sent it back to protect us.  He was,” John looked over at Cameron with a smile on his face, “nothing like her.  He was a T-888.  He learned to say things that were more human.  He learned not to kill unless he had to.  He learned … in the end he learned to be more human than any machine has a right to be.”

Derek wanted to say something to that but the look in John’s eye was haunted.  Whatever had happened, future-John had never shared.  He’d closed off part of himself and he never let anyone take a look but this John was speaking and Derek couldn’t help but want to know what had happened to the man that had been his lover.

“They can’t self-destruct, but he handed my mom the control to lower him into superheated metal so his neural processor would be destroyed.  He was trying to stop judgment day.  How many humans do you know that would let you kill them because they might lead to something like that?”

Derek’s eyes trailed over to Sam and Dean, stories they’d told about heaven and hell and sacrifice.  Nothing that had happened, any maybe not anything that would because they’d already changed things and who knew what else would change, but that type of sacrifice was in them.  Derek didn’t know many other people that would.

John let out a harsh bark of a laugh.  “Yeah, that’s about it for me too.  If you know me, then you know all about my mother, about the way she raised me and how important my safety was to her.  She decided to destroy skynet and the terminator gave her enough information to know where to find it, or its predecessor anyway.  She left to destroy it, knowing she’d never make it back.  She left me with a terminator because she knew he would always put me first, he would always make sure I was safe and protected.  I hate the metal and I hate what they’re going to do to the world, but I can’t hate all of them.  “Uncle Bob” was only with us for a short time but he was family.  He died to protect me just like everyone else has.”

Derek had nothing to say to that.  Dean was watching John but Sam had his eyes turned away and Derek could see the glint of moisture there.  Jessie had killed Sam’s girlfriend because she knew she couldn’t use her as leverage to get the information she wanted.  Sam would let her die – or kill himself trying to get to her – before he’d betray his brother.  Jessica had died to protect John because Jessie knew the only way to get Sam to betray his location was to make him need his brothers.  Sarah was missing and John Winchester as well and Derek had no idea if they were dead or alive. 

Sam looked over at Derek then and Derek could see the pain there and the resolve.  John Connor told stories about his mother and her training and how he’d survived to judgment day because of her.  Dean Winchester talked about Sarah Connor as this human spirit who never gave up, who couldn’t cook worth a damn and who had the maternal instincts of a rock but who gave everything she had to her son – and then her adopted family – and became a legend.  Sarah never gave up, Sarah never stopped learning and trying.  Sarah was everyone and in extreme circumstances she’d become someone great.

Sam never talked about Sarah Connor, Derek realized.  The few times she was mentioned he held the same awe and reverence for her that he gave Jessica or Mary Winchester.  Derek had never realized how Sam felt before, but Sam had loved Sarah, loved her as a mother though he never said the words.

It was another layer of the Winchester boys he hadn’t realized before and he just nodded when he looked away from Sam and back to John.  Derek couldn’t help but hate the metal, but he could understand John Connor a little better because of them.

** 

_“Sam, your mother is here.”_

_Sam looked up at the Vice Principal as she walked in the room, followed closely by Sarah Reese.  He felt tears sting his eyes and though he was sure his face didn’t show his inner turmoil, Sarah’s eyes seemed to hone in on his weakness._

_“What happened?” Sarah asked, pulling the Vice Principal’s attention away from Sam, giving him a few moments to collect himself.  He didn’t think she understood what upset him but she knew something had and she had been with the Winchester family long enough to know they didn’t like having their emotions played out for anyone._

_“There was a fight.  To be honest, the few kids that were willing to talk about the incident said Richie Johnson started the fight, but the way he looks I have a hard time believing their version of the story.”_

_“Why is that?” Sarah demanded.  There was nothing timid about Sarah and if the Vice Principal was used to parents coming in and being as intimidated as the students, she was sorely mistaken._

_“This is the third time Sam has been-“_

_“This is the third time Sam has had to defend himself from bullies since we moved here.  I think it says something about your staff that bullying has become so prevalent that so many students think they can get away with it.”_

_“Ms. Winchester, I assure you there were no incidents of bullying before your son came here.”_

_“Let me see if I understand you correctly,” Sarah said in a level voice.  Sam would have cringed if that voice was directed at him because that tone was Sarah when she was about to cut you off at the legs, but the Vice Principal didn’t know that.  “Sam has been in three fights in the two weeks he’s been in this school.  Every incident has eyewitnesses coming forward to say he was being bullied.  You call me to come pick him up, leaving him bruised and still bleeding without letting him see the nurse in that time, and you then accuse him of starting the fights, simply because he gave better than he got?”_

_The Vice Principal took a step back and Sarah leaned forward.  “What you’re saying is I’m here because my boy took care of the bully problem your staff is too ineffective to stop.”_

_Sarah stood straight then, looking at Sam for the first time since she started talking.  “Come on, Sam, we’re leaving.”_

_“Ms. Winchester-“_

_“The name is Reese, Sarah Reese.  Next time at least get that right before you make the call.”_

_“Um, Ms. Reese, Sam is not suspended.  He will be returned to the classroom now.”_

_“Like hell he will,” Sarah growled.  “I will be making calls in the morning and Sam will be transferred to the High School.”_

_“I don’t think that’s appropriate.”_

_“Yeah, and when they tested Sam and suggested we move him up you said the same thing, it would be detrimental to his development to be moved up a grade.  We listened to you then and it’s not a mistake I’ll repeat.  Sam will be transferred up to the High School and you will do whatever it takes to make it happen.  I don’t care if he skips grades or just takes classes there, but it will happen.”_

_Sarah didn’t give the woman another chance to speak, she simply nodded her head towards Sam who grabbed his back pack and ran out the door ahead of her._

_They were both silent as they got in the white jeep, Sam trying to hold back his emotions.  His Dad wouldn’t have bothered to try to get Sam moved, he’d have just been proud of him for standing up for himself.  If he went to the high school though, Dean would be there.   At least Dean would be watching out for him if there were bullies.  When Sarah started the jeep up, Sam just held his back pack tight against his chest, staring out the window._

_“Sam, are you alright?”_

_Sarah wasn’t much better about dealing with the emotional stuff than his dad was.  Actually, Dean was the only one that really seemed to get him, with JC coming in a close second.  In the year JC and Sarah had been with them, he’d become almost as close to Sam as Dean was.  It didn’t mean Sarah didn’t try though._

_“Yeah, I’m fine.”_

_“I know better than to think you’re upset about a fight.”_

_He didn’t say anything though and Sarah let the silence lengthen between them.  It wasn’t until they pulled up in front of their current motel that Sarah finally let out a heavy sigh.  “Sam-“_

_“No one,” he stopped her as he pushed open the door.  “I just … no one has ever said my Mom was there before.”  He jumped out of the jeep then and scrambled for his key.  With the five of them they couldn’t live in one room so John and Sarah stayed in one and the boys took another.  It gave him the room to himself and he was grateful he was alone._

_He knew it wouldn’t last long.  Even if Sarah didn’t try to talk to him, he knew his brother would be home from school soon and Sarah would totally rat him out to Dean._

_He threw himself on the bed and stared up at the ceiling.  Dean wouldn’t understand, not really.  Dean remembered Mom, remembered her smile and voice and sometimes he still talked to Sam about her.  As much as Dean liked Sarah he would never think of her as a mother.  JC might understand this one though. He’d never had a stable life either,  his longest stint in one place had been during a two year period where he’d been shuffled from one foster family to another, for reasons Sam still didn’t know.  He’d never had a father figure and he looked at John sometimes like he was everything he’d ever wanted, quickly followed by a look of extreme guilt.  He didn’t know that story either, but Sam felt that way too sometimes, like he was disrespecting what had happened to his mother by thinking, even for a second, that Sarah could take that role._

_He heard the Impala long before the door to their room opened up.  He didn’t bother to look, but he heard both Dean and JC’s footsteps on the carpet.  Dean must have picked him up on the way home._

_“Sammy?” Dean asked as he crawled up onto their bed.  “I know I’m so awesome you can’t be without me, but did you really have to beat up three of them to get noticed?”_

_Sam could hear the teasing in his voice and he relaxed a little at that.  “You know me, always like attention.”_

_Dean’s fingers were in his hair though and Sam didn’t care how it looked to anyone as he rolled over and pushed his head up under Dean’s chin, burying himself in his brother’s scent, in the comfort of his arms._

_“Come on, Sammy,” Dean whispered into his hair.  “Sarah said something was really bothering you and we were supposed to take it easy on you, but she wouldn’t say what.”_

_“Called her my mom,” Sam mumbled into Dean’s chest._

_“What?  Who?”_

_“Vice Principal, said my mom was there when Sarah came to get me.”  He was barely breathing, afraid his brother was going to push him away for the betrayal.  Instead, Dean’s arms tightened around him._

_“Look, Sammy, I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours, but I know Mom wouldn’t want you to be upset about that.  She loved you so much, Sammy, and she’d want to know someone was taking care of you.  I don’t think-” his voice faltered for a second but he started up immediately, “I don’t think she’d mind if you found someone you wanted to call Mom.”_

_He felt JC sit down behind him and then the younger boy’s body was pressed against his back, Dean’s arms spreading wider to accommodate them both.  “You remember what Bobby always said about family, don’t you, Sam?”_

_Sam nodded, wishing suddenly that JC had met Bobby.  He hadn’t yet but it was only a matter of time before they found themselves in South Dakota.  “Family don’t end with blood,” he whispered just loud enough for the other two to hear him._

_JC’s hand tightened around his waist and if Sam didn’t need Dean so much in that moment he’d be turning to wrap himself around the eleven year old._

_“That’s right.  But even if it weren’t true, I figure we’ve all spilt enough blood together in the last year to make it true anyway.”_

_He felt the slight shiver from JC and Sam decided to hell with it.  Dean was right and they were family now, which meant Sam had to live up to the image of big brother.  He turned over and pulled JC close, but even as he did so he felt Dean right up behind him, hands moving slowly down Sam’s arms and over JC’s back.  He whispered soft words of comfort to them both._

_It was too early to call it a night, but Sam closed his eyes and let himself be lulled to sleep anyway.  
_

_**  
_

Sam looked up at the farmhouse and took a deep breath.  Somewhere inside was either his father or a machine that was trying to kill them.  He didn’t like that JC was with them, but he refused to be left behind and he was resourceful enough to get out of anything they tried to put him in so it was just better to include him in the plans. 

Cameron – was he the only one that found it odd that JC had started naming the machines?  – had been let out of the car about a mile back with Derek.  Cameron could make it to the house on her own, but Derek was getting himself set up, sniper rifle ready.  Cameron and Derek were their aces in the hole and Sam just hoped they didn’t need them. 

He put aside the thoughts of his loss and looked over at Dean.  Dean gave him a tight smile but it was meant to convey nothing more than ‘I’m ready, let’s kick the shit out of this,’ and Sam was in total agreement. 

“Dad?”  Dean called out as they walked to the front door of the farmhouse, Sam and Dean side by side with JC trailing behind them.  Sam had the shotgun in hand, but other than that none of them had weapons drawn just yet, but they were all well-armed. 

The door was unlocked and Dean just looked back at them, took a deep breath, and opened the door.  Dean went in first, of course, but Sam was close behind him.  They didn’t expect trouble as soon as they opened the door but Dean pulled his gun as soon as they were in.  “Dad?  We’re here.”

“What good little boys you are.”  The woman, Jessie Flores, stepped into the room, a gun in each hand, one pointed at Sam and the other at Dean.  “I knew if Jess wouldn’t bring him to me, Daddy would.”

“Where’s my dad?” Dean demanded.  Sam could tell he was barely keeping himself under control.  As much trouble as Sam had with their father over the years, Dean still idolized him. 

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t you worry about Daddy dearest.  It’s your brother that’s really in trouble.”

Behind the woman another figure stepped into the room.  She had pale skin and red hair, her body moving in the way terminators did when they weren’t trying to blend into the crowd.  Dean took a step in front of JC and Flores’ gun focused on him instead.  Sam wanted to smack his brother for being so damn self-sacrificing, putting himself between JC and the weapons trained on him, but Sam was right beside him, shoulders brushing to make a solid wall between their little brother and the others. 

Flores laughed.  “You think you’re going to stop a T-1000?”

“No,” Dean said with a smirk.  “I don’t have to.”

Dean must have seen movement behind them because Cameron came through the door the others had come in, tackling the T to the ground.  The whole house shook with the force of their impact and Dean dove forward, knocking into the other woman.  She was thrown back but managed to keep her feet but she was running then, out the back door and Sam and Dean ran after her.  JC was just a step behind them.

They’d taken a look at the property before they got out of the car and the only thing back behind them was the barn.  Sam knew Dean didn’t like heading in without a warning about what they could be walking into so he slowed down once he saw Flores  throw back the door. 

“JC, stay back just in case she’s got another one of those things hidden around here.”  Dean warned.

Sam didn’t snort though he wanted to.  If she had another terminator in the barn they were royally screwed.  He didn’t want to think about what a resistance fighter was doing working with a terminator but he’d have to worry about that later.  Instead he drew his gun and moved to the door with Dean, JC a few steps behind them, just far enough back to keep Dean from saying anything.

Dean went through the door first and Flores was just rounding the last stall on the right side.  “You can’t get out,” Dean said as they crept forward.  “Make a move to the back and you know I’ll put a bullet in your brain.  Just come on out slowly.”

“What makes you think I want to get out just yet?”  Flores came back out of the stall but she was dragging someone with her.  The woman had long brown hair, straw and hay sticking out of her hair and clinging to the light clothes she wore.  They looked like pajamas but Sam had done more than one interview in a mental hospital and he recognized them as the sort of clothes they gave their patients.  Flores had the woman by the hair, gun to her temple.  Sam didn’t know what she was playing at, but then she pulled the woman’s head upright and Sam gasped.

“Mom?”

“This is how it all plays out.  John Connor comes with me and I let Sarah go.”

“No.”

“No.”

“Yes,” JC said, trying to push his way up between his brothers.

Sam grabbed hold of him, leaving Dean to keep his gun trained on the other woman.  “No way we’re trading John for Sarah.  It’s three against one though.  No matter what shot you take, you don’t make it out of here alive.”

Flores smiled.  “Maybe.  Maybe not.  As long as John dies, I did what I needed to do.”

The sound of breaking glass had Sam pushing JC down to the floor underneath him.  A bullet hit the wooden wall behind Flores and she jumped back.  The distraction gave Sarah the moment she needed and she drove up with her elbow, dislodging Flores’ hold on her.  She dove out of the way even as Flores made a run for back door.  Dean was running forward for Sarah, firing at the other woman as she ran out of the barn. 

Sam heard more shots  but there was plenty of cover in the trees that lined the property and he didn’t think Derek would get another chance to reposition himself now that Flores knew they had someone else out there. 

Sam was up then, moving towards Sarah and JC was with him.  Dean waited until they were with her before sprinting out the door himself. 

“John?  John, are you okay?”

“Mom, I’m alright.  Are you?  What happened to you?”

Sarah sat up then and pulled JC into her arms, silencing any words.  The back door opened and Sam moved between JC, Sarah, and the door. 

“JC, can you get her up?” Dean asked as he stalked into the barn. 

“Yeah, come on Mom.”

“Sam, the terminators are still out there.  We gotta get JC out of here.”

Sam nodded because there was nothing else to do.  Sam and Dean, even Sarah, might be worth holding onto for a terminator but their primary target was always going to be John Connor.  

“Derek?”

“Already at the car, ready to give us cover.”

Sam nodded as he looked back at JC.  Jesus, Sarah.  She looked like hell.  Her eyes were unfocused and her body was weak.  Not just thin but starved.  He knew she’d try to get them to leave her behind, she was a liability in this fight and they all knew it, but to his surprise she just let JC help her to her feet. 

She looked at Sam and gave a weak smile.  “Jesus Sammy, you became a giant.”

He let out a choked laugh, clenching his fingers around the handle of his guns to keep from hugging her. 

“We can compare notes later, Sarah,” Dean said from the door.  “We need to move now.”

Sarah just nodded but Sam could see the way she looked Dean over as well, as if looking for injuries before heading out into the fight.

Dean went out the door first, JC had his arm around Sarah’s waist and helped her out next, and Sam covered their backs. 

“Move it!” Derek screamed from the Impala and Dean had them in motion already.  Sarah was slow but it wasn’t a long distance.  If Cameron could just keep the T-1000 at bay they could make their getaway.

They were half way to the car when something flew through the wall of the house.  They all ducked as the debris flew across the yard.  When Sam looked up, Cameron was standing up in the yard and the other terminator was walking through the hole heading straight for the Impala. 

“Go!” Sam yelled, grabbing Sarah’s other arm to help JC get her away.  Dean opened fire on the enemy terminator and Derek was in the car, starting her up.  Sam hoped to god Derek knew how to drive because if they got out of this alive and there was a scratch on the car Dean would kill him. 

Cameron launched herself at the other terminator just as Sam and JC made it to the car with Sarah.  JC got in the back, pulling his mother in with him.  Sam crawled in beside her as Dean opened the passenger door of the front seat.  Dean got in, rolling down the window as he took Derek’s more powerful sniper rifle in hand.  He managed to hang half out of the car as the enemy terminator made a run for them.  He fired and the terminator went down in a flurry of limbs.  They were gaining speed and the thing didn’t have a chance at catching up to them.  When Sam looked back he could see Cameron running away from the farm, presumably to meet them back at their rendezvous.

There were a few tense moments of silence where they each took a few breaths but Sarah was sitting between them and that was all the time she could give them.  “John?”

“I’m good, Mom,” he said, and Sam could hear the pain in his voice from seeing his mother so weak.

“Sam?”

“I’m fine, Sarah.”

“Dean?”

Dean sat up straighter in his seat as he turned to look back at her.  “We got a call a few days ago from Dad saying he had a lead on you.  We knew it was a terminator so we made plans to attack.  John went missing a few weeks back.  We thought maybe they were holding him and decided to see.  The terminator fighting for us was sent back from the future to protect JC and Sam.  This is Derek,” he said, filling her in on the most important information.  “Reese, Kyle’s older brother.  He came back when a resistance fighter turned sides and came back to kill JC.  She tried to kill JC six years ago and we stopped her.  A few nights ago, she went to Stanford and killed the girl Sam was living with.”

Sam flinched at the callused way Dean spoke of Jess, taking a deep breath to try to bury his resentment at that.  Dean had no reason to like Jessica, no reason to wish her death hadn’t happened except to save Sam the pain of it. 

“Are you alright, Sarah?”  Report given, Sam could tell Dean wanted a few answers of his own.  They all did. 

Sarah nodded.  “Yeah.  I was on a hunt, the ghost gave me hell at the grave site but I managed to get the fire going.  I got to the car and had just thrown my stuff in the back when everything went black.  She must have hit me in the head with something.  When I woke, I was in a mental hospital.”

JC choked at that and Sam really wanted to reach around Sarah to get to his little brother but Sarah just continued on.  “They drugged me heavily.  I wasn’t strong enough to break free and when I stopped taking the pills they gave me shots.  Apparently they were told I was dangerous to myself and others.  They’d get the medication in my system and ask me about the future,” she said with a snort.  “And of course I was too stoned to lie.  She came to see me, about a year back.  Said she was keeping me alive for when she found John.”

Dean rolled his eyes.  “So she was keeping you around just to use you as bait.”

“Yeah, but she couldn’t find John to tell him.”

“So she killed Jess instead,” Sam finished.

“Sam,” Sarah’s voice was quiet and she trailed gentle fingers up his wrist and curled them between his own.  “I’m so sorry.”

Sam closed his eyes against the pain, feeling the others watching him.  He felt Sarah pull him close and he went willingly into the arms of the only mother he’d ever had, JC’s coming around both his mother and his big brother.

**

“We need to get you to a hospital,” Dean said, even though he was pulling into the motel parking lot.  He’d been trying to talk her into going since they’d pull out of the farm. He tried to talk her into it when JC and Sam were getting their stuff cleaned out of the room and the whole time they’d been on the road to the rendezvous point.  Now that they were at the new motel he needed to give it one more shot.   They had no idea what was going to happen to Sarah, no idea what had been pumped into her system for years.  As much as he hated hospitals, he wasn’t going to risk Sarah’s life on it.

“I’ll be fine, Dean.” Sarah said, a little strength in her voice.  “I promise, if I get sick you can take me.”

Dean finally nodded, then got out of the car quickly and made his way up to the motel office.  Cameron knew where they were headed and Dean wasn’t worried about her showing up.  He trusted Derek to keep an eye on the others while he was away, knowing Sam and JC were too caught up in Sarah to watch their surroundings. 

He smiled at the girl behind the counter and flirted until she gave him the two rooms at the end of the motel.  He didn’t want anyone to see them carrying Sarah into the room and he had no doubt her strength was already zapped. 

When she gave him the keys to the two rooms he made his way back to the others and pulled the car closer to their room. He got out and opened both rooms before going to the back of the car and pulling out their bags.  Derek had his own in hand but he had a free hand for a gun if he needed it.  Sam and JC were helping Sarah into the first room.  Derek took the second key and nodded to the door.  “You take care of them.  I’ll keep an eye on the door.”

Dean nodded his understanding as he watched Derek disappear into the second room and drop his stuff.  He came out, shoulder leaning against the door jam as if he had nothing better in the world to do than just stand there.  Dean waited a minute longer until JC and Sam had Sarah through the door before he followed them in.

They set her on the bed and Dean dropped their bags by the door.  Sam was propping pillows up behind her back and JC was just sitting there.  Sarah watched the two of them, her eyes constantly moving between JC and Sam and occasionally over to him as well.  Dean set about salting the room, protecting it in every way he knew how. 

He knew what he needed to do next, but neither of his brothers were gonna like this one bit.  “Hey Sam, why don’t you and JC go to that diner and round us up some food.”

Sam looked up, ready to argue but he must have seen something in Dean’s eyes.  “Yeah, alright.  Come on JC.”

“You can grab food on your own.”

“I need an extra set of hands for all that food.  Besides, you know what Sarah likes to eat best.  You have to help me find something she’ll like that she can eat right now.”

JC looked back at Dean and he must have been shooting daggers because he’d never seen JC change his mind that quickly for anything.  Instead of saying anything else, JC and Sam walked out the door.

“You shooing my boys away, Dean?” Sarah asked softly.

Dean took a deep breath as he stepped closer.  “Christo.”  Sarah just smiled when Dean let out a relieved sigh.  “I figured we needed to know what happened to you and you might be more likely to tell me alone.”

Sarah shook her head, eyes filled with pain.  “Did John ever tell you I was in a mental institute before?”  Dean nodded his head.  “This time, Jessie got to them.  I don’t know if she paid them or just lied to them but they kept me out of my mind.  I don’t know how long I’ve been out, Dean, but it took me a while to think clear enough to try to get away.  I was too weak though.  She didn’t do anything worse than that, but I haven’t eaten in days.  Dean, you’ve got to promise me, you know I’m a liability right now.  You can’t let John get hurt because of me.”

Dean shook his head.  “There are plenty of us here protecting JC, Sarah.  We’ll keep him safe, but I’m not losing you again.  You got no idea what those two were like when you went missing.”

Sarah’s lips pulled into a thin line as she looked to the door JC and Sam had walked out.  “How are they, Dean?”

“JC’s good.  He’s a hell of a fighter.  He finished high school and we just took off on the road, hunting.  We worked with Dad sometimes, sometimes on our own.  Most of the time, it’s just him and me and the Impala.”

“What about Sam?”

Dean ignored the way his heart sped up.  “Sam, well you know the way he and Dad always fought.  He took off for college as soon as he turned 18.  Full scholarship to Stanford.”  He couldn’t keep the pride out of his voice and Sarah’s smile grew fuller.  “Dad didn’t like Sam going off so it was pretty rocky.”  He looked down then because Sarah knew how close the brothers were.  “Hadn’t talked to Sam in two years myself.  He called a few nights back because Jessie had shown up where he lived, killed his girlfriend.  We knew she was after JC so I went to get Sam and JC hid out.”

Sarah’s hand was on his then, the contact warm and far too close for Dean’s comfort.  “Thank you, Dean, for taking care of the boys.  I can see how strong they are.  I know you did that.”

Dean shook his head, scoffing at that.  “Sarah, I screwed up seven ways to Sunday with both of them.  You shouldn’t be thanking me.”

“John’s alive.  Sam’s alive.  Considering what we do for a living, that’s saying a lot.”

Dean looked away again but he didn’t have anything to say to that.  “Yeah, well… I couldn’t protect Sam from Jessie.”

Sarah’s hand came up, cupping his face and he would have pulled back if it weren’t for the look in her eyes.  “I’m proud of how strong you’ve been for them.  Thank you, Dean.”

He didn’t bother resisting when she pulled him in close.  Instead, he took a deep breath and buried his nose in her hair.  He held on for a few minutes and smiled as he pulled back.  “How about I get the bath run for you while the boys are gone?   I remember how much you used to hate sleeping with grave dirt on you.”

She laughed, seeming to remember she was still filthy from living in the barn for a few days.  “That would be great.”

**

Other than a gaping hole where the terminator had gone through the wall, the farm house was still intact.  A day after the fighting had taken place found them back again.  Derek stared through the window of the deserted house, watching over the yard as Sam and Dean looked through the notes that had been left behind.  None of it meant anything to Derek but Sam was looking through everything and after yesterday Dean wasn’t letting Sam out of his sight.  Dean wasn’t the type to sit around and deny his responsibilities or Derek would have been doing the recon himself.  JC wasn’t going to leave Sarah’s side and it was only at the last minute that Sam came out of the motel to join them.  When Dean just stared at him Sam had mumbled something about giving JC time with his mom.   

Now, they were just picking up the pieces to see if Jessie had left anything to indicate her next move, or if she really had come into contact with John Winchester.  Derek didn’t know anything about the man, really.  Dean idolized him and Sam put up with his brother’s adoration.  JC seemed to run straight in the middle of that thinking but it was clear the man had a strong impact on all three of the men Derek knew. 

“You got anything?” 

A couple seconds of shuffling paper and then Dean was standing next to him.  “Nothing.  If she knew anything about Dad she didn’t have it written down and there’s nothing else really.  Just local papers and it looks like a possible list of the drugs Sarah was on.  She was apparently making a list of withdrawal complications in case anything went wrong with Sarah.”

“She couldn’t use her as  leverage if she got sick.”

“There’s nothing else,” Sam said, coming up beside them.  “We might as well take off.”

Dean smirked.  “You know Sarah isn’t going anywhere while we’re gone, right?”

“Dean, shut up.”

Derek let out a snort.  It was the same banter Sam and Dean went through in the future.  “Are we ready to head out then?”

“Yeah, I figure JC has had enough time with Sarah.  He’ll need some relief from the mother hen act.”

“You’re the mother hen, Dean.”

Derek moved away from the window then and headed to the Impala.  It was odd, after all the years of hearing about the car to finally be riding in it.  He could see the way Dean doted on the Impala, how Sam and John treated the vehicle more like a home than a car. 

He wished Kyle was there with him, hopping into the back seat.  After all the stories sitting there felt a little like cheating to be there without him.   

The car ride back was silent.  Dean had been awake all night, keeping vigil, and Sam was caught up in his head.  Derek was trying not to think too hard about his brother.  Or his lover.  Or his nephew.  He tried to keep the two separate in his head.  Derek had been crazy about John but he couldn’t get over his anger at what he’d kept from him.  He didn’t know what he’d have done if he’d known – he’d never had a problem with Sam and Dean and it wasn’t like he’d been able to ignore that for more than a few months after they’d joined up – but it wasn’t something John should have kept from him.  It didn’t help that the young man they called JC reminded him so much of his older self.   

His thoughts came up short when they pulled into the driveway.  Cameron was standing watch outside, just where they’d left her.  At least John had given her a book and had her sit on the ground to make her sentry duties look less conspicuous. 

She stood up when she saw them and walked up to Dean.  “You and Sammy should go inside.”

“It’s Sam.”

Cameron turned to look at him and cocked her head to the side for a moment.  “Dean said I should call you Sammy.”

“Why?”

“Because calling you Sammy would annoy you.”

Sam rolled his eyes and Derek was smirking. 

“Why do we need to get inside?”

“John is back.”

Derek had no idea what that was supposed to mean since they’d left JC with her but Dean and Sam moved past her anyway and Derek joined them.    Sarah had a smile on her face as they entered and JC turned around with tears in his eyes.  He would have put their emotional dislays off to having found her again but the bathroom door opened and out stepped a strange man.  He had dark hair, salt and peppered with a matching beard.  He looked worse for the wear but he was smiling as he saw Sam and Dean in the room.

Derek had his hand on his gun, ready just in case.

“Christo,” Dean’s voice was strong as he said the word but Sam was gripping the back of Dean’s jacket in a way that spoke of need.  In everything they’d faced together, he’d never seen Sam that needy. 

“I’m not a demon, Dean,” the man said.

“I already checked.  He’s not a shifter either,” JC said as he went over to the bed and sat down next to his mother.

“Dad?”

“Good to see you boy.”  Dean stepped closer, leaving Sam trailing behind and he was wrapped up in the other man’s embrace.  Derek moved up until his shoulder brushed Sam’s, unaccustomed to seeing Dean leave his brother like that.  It felt wrong.

“Dad, where have you been?” Dean asked as he leaned back.  John Winchester wasn’t looking at Dean though.  He looked over his shoulder at Sam.  His eyes briefly flickered over Derek but he seemed to be letting his identity slide for the moment. 

“Sammy?”

“Yes, sir.”

“It’s been a long time.”

There was an undercurrent there that Derek was just beginning to understand.  Sam had told him how much he and his father fought, about how hard things had always been between them.  He also told him about the fight they had when Sam went to Stanford and John telling him not to ever come back. 

“Yes, sir.”

“John, go hug your son before Dean erupts,” Sarah said into the tension.

John Winchester smiled and the tension in Sam’s shoulders dropped.  “Come on boy, we know better than to make her wait.”  Dean watched the two as they came together and Derek had never seen Dean look content before, but that was what he was seeing.

When Sam started to pull back, John’s hands grabbed his face, holding him there for a few minutes as he looked him over.  “Missed you, Sammy,” He said before pulling him back in.

Derek looked away because as much as he considered Sam and Dean family in the future, they didn’t know him like that yet.  It felt too much like prying and he suddenly wished he’d stayed outside with the metal.

“Sarah’s been telling me a story while you boys were gone,” Winchester finally said.  “You’d be Derek Reese.”

Derek looked up then, nodding at the other man.  “Yes, sir.”

“John’s uncle.”

He nodded because it looked like Winchester needed some form of acknowledgment even though it wasn’t a question. 

“Just so we’re clear, you hurt my boys, any of my three boys,” he said, as if clarifying something Derek was already aware of, “you’ll be buried before this judgment day of yours ever comes.  You got that?”

Derek smiled because – Jesus – the man was a bull dog.  “Yes, sir.”

“What’s so funny, Derek?” John Connor asked from the bed and Derek just shook his head.  He turned to start for the door.

“I’m gonna go over the maps in my room,” he looked back at Dean though.  “Least I know where you got it from now.”

John laughed at that and Sam and Dean shared a fond look between them.  Winchester was watching Derek though, maybe trying to figure him out.  Whatever Sarah had told them in the time they’d been gone, he was sure he was gonna get a visit from the eldest Winchester to make sure he wasn’t a threat.

Derek kept his door open when he got inside, pulling out the maps to see if there was any obvious place for Jessie to have taken cover at.  He was only half paying attention though.  He’d heard about John Winchester most of his life.  He couldn’t wait to have words with the man behind the John Connor and the Winchester brothers.

** 

Dean watched Derek walking out, a smile on his face at the other man’s humor.  Derek was far too serious and Dean was glad to have put a smile on his face if even just for a moment.  He’d obviously heard about their dad before.  Someday soon, when they weren’t on the run from killer cyborgs – and how weird was his life that he could think that without freaking the hell out – he was gonna have to find out what else Derek knew about them.

The door closed behind Derek but not without a glance from Cameron at her post outside.  Dean nodded back to her and she just nodded again before the door shut between them. 

Dean looked over at Sarah and JC on the bed, at his brother and father still a breath away from touching again.  Hell, if Dean made a loud noise he was pretty sure Sam would jump into Dad’s arms.  Funny as that might be, he needed some answers.

“Dad, where have you been?”

His dad looked at him and nodded.  “Yeah, why don’t you boys have a seat.”

If it surprised his father to see Sam curl up at the head of the bed next to Sarah he didn’t say anything.  Sarah let herself be tucked up under Sam’s arm and JC pulled in closer to her other side, sparing a fond glance at Sam before his eyes met Dean’s.  There was so much in that expression Dean didn’t know how to answer, but it felt like a promise kept and Dean just took a deep breath, enjoying the feeling of his family together again. 

His father grabbed one of the chairs from the table and sat by the foot of the bed and Dean sat on the other bed in the room, needing to be close to Sam. 

“JC said you got a call from the terminator,” and Dean had to give his old man some credit for not fumbling over that, “that sounded like me.  Seems like the information was right but it wasn’t me calling.  I got a lead on the girl.  I’ve been tracking her for the last three months.  She came to this area often and I knew something was happening here.  I lost her trail though when she headed west.  I started to make my way back here, but I caught your trail instead.  You seemed to be heading this way and I decided it was time to see what made this area of interest.  I found her again, with Sarah.  I didn’t know what the hell that thing was with her so I was trying to catch up with you boys, get some back up on this one.  You got to Sarah before I found you though.  I came here today looking to get you boys to help me out.  Looks like you did just fine on your own  though.”

There was pride in his voice and Dean felt this chest puff up with the praise.  “Probably helps we knew what we were up against.”

John nodded.  “You boys managed to keep a pretty big secret all this time.”

“John, I’m sure they didn’t know.”  Sarah tried cutting in.

“We did.”  Sam countered.  “JC told us a long time ago.  It was your secret though and we understood why you needed to keep it.  If something had ever come for us that we thought Dad needed to know, we would have told him, but this is the first time a terminator has been involved.”

Dean tensed because that was normally enough to send Sam and Dad into a fight but their dad just nodded his head in return.  He looked at Sarah though and she looked down in shame.  He didn’t blame her.  That secret wasn’t one she’d needed to keep.  The last six years John Winchester had raised JC, made him a part of their family, and he’d never given up looking for Sarah.  He’s proved his loyalty in a hundred hunts over the years, before and after Sarah’s disappearance. 

“We should probably head out soon,” Dean said, trying to break up the tension.  Sam and JC were both wide eyed with the ‘mom and dad are fighting’ gaze and Dean needed to keep them on task either way.  Get them all to safety, get Sarah healthy, then she and Dad could go at it like bulldogs. 

“I’ll take my brothers. Derek and Cameron can take Sarah’s Jeep and bring up the rear.  Last thing we need is Flores and the terminator to catch us just yet.”

“You got something in mind Dean?” Sarah asked as Sam and JC got out of the bed and started packing.

“You know me, Sarah, always got something up my sleeve.” _  
_

_**  
_

“She’s gonna be okay, right?”  JC couldn’t help himself.  No matter what else was going on, no matter how hard they had to run, seeing his mother so weak shook him.  He kept telling himself they had John back now, everything would be alright, but the facts didn’t make her look any less helpless, especially when John had come rushing in, swooping her up in his arms.  She’d looked so frail against him.  Thankfully, before the moment could turn his fear into anything else, John had looked up at him and gestured him over.  No, John Winchester wasn’t his real dad, but he was the real thing anyway.  He’d gone without hesitation and he’d seen something in his mother loosen up at that, like maybe all this time she’d doubted what John would do with an extra son.

Now, without her to look at, on the road with nothing but the night around them, his own doubt was creeping in.

“Told you years ago, JC,” Dean said with a smile through the rear view mirror, “there ain’t no one as tough as Sarah.  She might look weak now, but you give her a week of good meals and she’ll be back to kicking our asses in no time.”

It was just like Dean to pick up on his real fears.

“Guess that means you’ll have to find someplace to stop with rabbit food for a while,” Sam teased.

“Doesn’t mean I have to eat it.”

“Hey, JC, you think we can convince Sarah that Dean needs to be on a special diet?”

“You wouldn’t,” Dean glared at Sam across the front seat.

“We could remind her of all the bad take-out he used to let us eat when she was away on a hunt.”

“Et tu, JC?”

JC laughed at his brothers, thankful for them once again.  He tried to imagine his life as John Connor, a place where he’d grown up without the Winchesters, and couldn’t imagine the man he’d become.  Sam gave him an open place to talk and be himself, to shed the mantle of John Connor when he needed it, and Dean was always there to tease the hell out of him or kick his ass into shape, depending on the need.  Without his brothers, he didn’t want to think who he’d be. 

“Maybe we’ll keep that plan for when Mom is starting to feel better and she can kick his ass instead.”

Sam opened his mouth but before he could say anything the car lurched to the side.  Glass exploded around them and JC was thrown around in the back seat.  JC couldn’t hear anything but ringing in his ears and as the car settled he looked up to see Dean with a trickle of blood running down the left side of his face.  Dean was scrambling to get out of the car, pulling Sam with him.  JC didn’t need to hear his voice to hear Dean’s command when their eyes met.

He pushed the door open and dropped to the ground, keeping low.  He could see John’s truck and Cameron running from the Jeep behind that.  Dean had a shotgun from under the seat and JC grabbed for the gun that was hidden in the rear foot well in an old take out container. 

There were no words this time, no taunting before the volley of bullets hit the Impala.  He could hear Dean swearing up a storm but he wasn’t sure if he was yelling because he couldn’t get to the trunk to get to their weapons or if it was because of the abuse the Impala was suffering.

“Cameron!  I need in the trunk!” Dean yelled into the chaos. 

Cameron must have heard him because she turned back towards them instead of the big rig that had hit them.  She ignored the bullets that came her way, but John was out of the truck, covering her moves and Derek was right beside him. 

She wrenched the trunk open and grabbed the bag they carried their weapons in.  She dropped the duffle beside Dean and then looked back to the bullets.  

Dean started popping out the salt shells that were loaded in the shotgun and Sam was grabbing the right ammo for him.  It wasn’t until that moment JC got a look at Sam’s right side. 

“Sam?”

“I’m alright.  Just not running a marathon today unless I have to.  Good thing I can shoot left handed, right?”

JC nodded as he watched Sam and Dean.  When Dean looked up, eyes meeting over Sam’s head, he could see the concern written there.  It wasn’t panic though so he knew Dean believed Sam would be alright.  If they could get him the hell out of there. 

“You’re outnumbered Jessie.  Just put the guns down!”  Derek yelled out over the sound of the weapons. 

“We’ll see whose outnumbered when the T-1000 kills your pet terminator.”  Jessie screamed from behind the cover of the truck.

“Shit,” Dean said as he looked up over the hood of the Impala.  Jessie and the terminator were only about twenty feet away.  “And here it comes now.”

Cameron ran towards the other vehicle but another volley of bullets kept JC from tracking her movements.  “Now aren’t you wishing your dad had just let the chupalcabra eat us?”

Sam let out a bark of laughter but Dean was smiling brightly.  “Hell no.  Haven’t had this challenging a hunt since my first poltergeist.”

“Yeah but you’re not usually the one being hunted.”

Dean looked over at him, eyes serious.  “We’ve been hunted since the day we took you in, JC.  Don’t think we haven’t known that.  Doesn’t matter a damn bit.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, family don’t end with blood.”

“Not today it won’t.”

Dean heaved up then, shotgun blaring as he targeted the woman that had been after him for years.  JC watched Sam brace himself up on his toes, right arm useless but gun in his left hand.  JC reached for a second gun, quickly checking the weapon before he was ready to start. 

He nodded at Sam and they both stood up.  Cameron and the T-1000 were locked in battle, Cameron pushing the other terminator away from the Impala.  They were clear of the fire fight but it looked like an even battle.  Cameron seemed to move quicker than the other terminator but she constantly had to readjust her tactics as the T-1000 morphed its shape. 

Derek was running across the distance from the Jeep to the Impala, John covering him as he ran. 

“Derek!”  Flores screamed again.  “It doesn’t have to be like this.  You don’t understand.  He betrayed us years ago, all this time, we fought by his side and he was always working for them!  He’s a goddamn gray and you don’t have to pretend you don’t see his betrayal anymore.”

Derek stood up, guns lowered.  “What happened to you, Jessie?  This isn’t you talking.”

“He’s no better than the fucking machines, Derek!”

JC could see something in Derek’s face as he looked over at Dean.  There was a request of some kind and Dean accepted, whatever it was.

“Jessie, just put the gun down, we can talk this out.  Whatever you think happened, it didn’t.  We were friends before this happened.  Just, talk to me.”

“Is that what you call friends?” Jessie asked, a laugh catching in her voice.  She stood up though, looking at Derek through the broken windshield.

Two shots rang out, one after another, catching Jessie’s gun hand and then her shoulder.  Derek was running before she could fall back and they were all up then, covering him as he reached Flores. 

“It’s clear!”  Derek yelled out.  He had her in his arms as he pulled her out of the cab of the truck.  John and his mom were watching the battle of the terminators, John taking shots when he had the opportunity to help Cameron.  JC ran with Sam and Dean to get to the woman who had been tracking him.

Derek had Jessie Flores laid out on the ground, her weapons thrown to the side where Dean grabbed them up.  They were talking and there was something intimate about the way Flores looked up at Derek, her hand reaching up to touch his face with her good hand. 

“I saw, Derek,” she said softly as JC came over.  Sam and Dean stood between them and he wasn’t sure Derek and Jessie even knew he was there, but he needed to see what was happening. 

“I know what Connor was doing to you.  I know why you couldn’t be with me.  You can be free of him, Derek.”

“Jesus, Jessie,” Derek’s head went down.  “You got it all wrong.  I’m sorry, my friend.”  He stood and JC knew what he was doing before Derek reached for the gun.  He couldn’t stop his actions, even if he’d wanted to, but he hated the regret he heard in Derek’s voice.

The gun shot was final, a single bullet between the eyes.  When Derek looked up at the others his expression was determined.  “No one betrays us and lives.  There’s only one sentence for a gray.” 

“We need to get out of here,” Sam said, breaking the moment. 

They all looked over to where Cameron seemed to have found a way to hold onto the T-1000.  She looked up at Derek and nodded.  “Get to the Jeep,” Derek yelled.  “Winchester!  Move out!”  He yelled to John.

The older man didn’t question him, just pulled Sarah up off the ground and got her in his black truck.  Derek led the way to the Jeep.  Dean ran to get the bag of weapons from behind the Impala before joining them.  Derek took the back seat with JC while Dean drove.  John had Sarah in the truck ahead of them, already moving. 

“So we’re just leaving the terminators to see who wins?” JC asked as he looked at Derek watching over his shoulder.

“No, no one wins this one,” he said, pulling a small trigger out of his pocket.

“What is that?”

“Dean, stop the Jeep.”

Dean didn’t question him, just pulled over.  Derek looked at JC, and then hit the button on the trigger.  The explosion was massive, the cars rocking with the impact and waves of dirt and dust flew over them. 

Derek continued to look back but he started talking.  “Sometimes, they go bad.  There’s no way of knowing what will cause a reprogrammed terminator to flip the switch and go native again.  Cameron got caught in an explosion and turned on you.  You managed to get to her chip and fix her.  She came to me later and gave me this, said this was in case she ever turned again.  She must have made a new one after she came through.  She gave the trigger to me today at the motel, said if she could hold onto the T-1000 to destroy them both.”

Derek let out a deep breath.  “Looks like she kept up her end of the bargain.”

**

The night breeze was cool but JC took a deep breath, letting it wash away the weariness of the day.  His mother was in bed, the day’s chase having taken what little strength she had.  JC had been sitting by her side, but after John came back from dinner with the others, he’d taken the food John brought him and moved over to the table, letting him take up position next to his mom.  He ate quietly, enjoying the quiet of the moment. 

Sam’s injuries has been pretty minor, considering the crash, but other than a shoulder that had to be relocated and some bruising, he’d been okay.  Some pain killers and time would see him healed up alright.  Derek had already gone back, checking on the ruins to see if either terminator had escaped.  They hadn’t and Derek had rounded up what was left and burned the remains in the crater with the Thermite he and John had somehow rounded up.  Dean had gone with him to check on the Impala.  They’d already called Bobby who had a friend who was gonna tow the car to the yard for him.  Dean was bitching about having to drive the Jeep but there was no heat in his voice.  He loved the Impala, but he loved his brothers more and she’d protected him and Sam both.  He could hear Derek outside with his brothers, quiet laughter and the clink of bottles from time to time.  It’d be a while before any of them were willing to get too far away from each other.  Dean would need to keep John, Sarah, and Sam close after having lost them all and JC wasn’t feeling any less protective.  Sam was clinging to Dean like he was a lifeline and JC had no doubt Dean was gonna have his hands full with Sam for a while.

His mom said something soft to John and JC looked over, watched the way her eyes closed slowly as John pushed a stray piece of hair out of her face.  He smiled at the image of the two of them.  He got up, throwing his take-out container in the trash.  He leaned over the bed and pressed a kiss to his mother’s forehead.  “Gonna be next door with Sam and Dean if you need us,” he said softly.  “Good night.”

JC stood up and smiled at John.  “Good night, John.”

John got up and moved around to the end of the bed.  JC moved with him, letting John’s arms hold him tight for a few minutes.  “Good night, son.”  John said softly.

When he pulled back, he had to take a deep breath to keep the tears from falling.  “It’s good to have everyone home.”

He got one of John’s rare smiles then, the ones that felt like the world was alright again.  “Yeah, yeah it is JC.”

He turned back to the bed then, laying down next to Sarah and JC headed for the door.

Now, it was quiet.  He looked across the parking lot and didn’t see his brothers.  There was a park across the street and something about the night’s calm had him crossing the street.  Dean would know where he was if they needed to come looking. 

The park was surrounded by trees, the type of place people could come to picnic or take their kids or dogs.  He moved over towards the playground, drawn towards the swings.  He blamed his mother for never letting him on them when he was little.  He didn’t know the full story, but she had nightmares and whenever he looked at a swing he could see the haunted look in her eyes.  Beside the swings was a merry-go-round and as he got close he realized there was a body there.

“Derek?”

“Knew you’d make it out here at some point.”

JC smiled at that and changed direction.  He hopped on the merry-go-round beside Derek and pushed.  Derek pulled his knees up, setting his feet on the edge and JC sat with his back against the center.  “Mom needed some sleep and John seemed like he needed a little time with her too.” He looked around and realized Sam and Dean weren’t anywhere out there.  “Where are my brothers?”

“Dean decided he needed a shower.”

“Sam?”

Derek smirked.  “He decided he needed to supervise.” 

They sat like that for a while, silence building between them before Derek sat up, settling in next to JC.  “You know what she was implying?”

JC nodded because they hadn’t said anything but Jessie had been pretty clear about what John Connor had been forcing his lieutenant into.  Derek wasn’t looking at him, but JC couldn’t make himself look away. 

“That’s why you got so mad when Dean told you who I was,” JC said softly.  Since Flores had accused him of those things, a lot of things made sense now.  Why Derek was so close to him and his brothers and why Dean watched Derek so closely, why he trusted him with JC so completely. 

“Yeah,” Derek said with a sigh.  “John, he – you never told me you were Kyle’s son.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

JC shook his head, shrugging as Derek finally looked at him.  “I don’t know.  I don’t know what will happen between now and then that will make me think I can’t tell you.  All I can say is I’m sorry now.”

Derek nodded, then looked back out across the park.  “And it doesn’t bother you, knowing we’re lovers in the future?  Even though you’re my nephew?”

“It obviously didn’t bother you that my brothers were.”  Derek didn’t answer and JC didn’t try to force it.  Instead he just took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  “I grew up knowing the world was going to end.  No matter where I went or what I did, when I was growing up, I knew nothing was gonna last.  And yet, there I was in the middle of this crazy family of men who refused to let anything go.  When John came into Mom’s life, when we talked about it and decided to stay with them, she said the world was gonna burn, but there were things worth living for and if you found something, no matter how hard it was, you had to hold on.”  JC opened his eyes and looked at Derek.  “They were raised the same way, you know?  They didn’t have a lot and they didn’t know who to trust.  I look at them and just think about how lucky they are that they were able to find someone to love, no matter who it is.”  He scoffed.  “I know the rest of the world doesn’t think that way, but the rest of the world didn’t grow up knowing they were gonna have to lead the human race against the apocalypse.  If I can find something crazy to hang onto that makes up for just a little of the crazy I’ve been living my whole life, I’m not afraid to take it.”

“You sure about that John?”

“Yeah, I am.”  He knew what Derek was asking and when Derek moved around the metal bar between them, he didn’t pull back.  He closed his eyes as dry lips pressed against his in an almost chaste kiss.  Derek pulled back, but only enough to rest his forehead against JC’s. 

“You’re right.  There are some things you gotta hold onto.”

There was a smile on Derek’s face when he pulled back though and JC couldn’t help but mirror it.

“About fucking time.”

JC’s head shot up at the voice, relaxing as he saw Sam and Dean walking up.  Both freshly showered, he realized with a smile.  Sam’s right arm was bound with a sling, probably the only way Dean thought he would keep it immobilized for the night.     

Not far from the merry-go-round was a picnic table and Sam made his way to it, sitting on top of it.  Dean sat to his right, as if protecting him on the side that was injured.  Derek nodded towards his brothers and JC smiled as he jumped off the merry-go-round. 

They sat on the other side of the table, John up on top like Sam, watching as Dean reached over and took Sam’s knife where he always hid it and started scratching on the table top.  He knew what Dean was doing the minute he started, but JC just smiled.

“I wasn’t sure we’d see you tonight,” Sam said, nudging JC with his shoulder. 

“It was tempting to stay in there, but I think after all that searching John deserved a little time with Mom too.”

“Good thing you agreed.  Dad might have tossed you on your ear if you didn’t get out,” Dean teased.

“Like John could get rid of me.  He’s got to have one good son, right?”

“What about us?” Sam asked with a laugh.

“You’re the rebellious one and Dean’s the pretty one.”

“Got us on that one,” Sam agreed. 

JC shook his head as he looked at Sam.  “I don’t think I said it before, Sam, but I’m sorry about Jessica.  I know you loved her.”

Sam ducked his head.  “I know JC.  It wasn’t your fault, but I know.”

Before he could do anything about Sam’s quiet tone, Dean was there, moving between Sam’s legs on the bench.  “Sammy?”

“I’m okay, Dean,” he said softly.

“I know, I just…” Dean hesitated and JC just kept looking out at the night sky because his presence felt like an intrusion, being there at that moment.  “I’m sorry about Jessica too.”  He leaned up then and pressed a kiss to Sam’s forehead in a gesture that would normally have his brother blushing.  Dean didn’t make affectionate gestures all the time but when he did, Sam always responded.  This time was more than that though and JC knew Sam was really thrown by what Dean had said. 

When Sam pulled Dean in, burying his head into Dean’s neck, JC just let out a deep breath to keep his own feelings in check.  It’d been a hell of a few days.  He felt Derek knock into his knee softly and he looked down to see the understanding smile there. 

He let himself feel that for a few minutes, the security Derek gave him and the warmth in knowing his family was all together again.  “You think they’ll make it?” JC asked after a few minutes of silence.  Derek’s shoulder pressed to his again, like they did this sort of thing all the time.  It comforted him a little to think maybe in the future he still had this. 

Dean looked over his shoulder to the motel, Sam’s hoodie still clenched in one fist, and smirked.  “Yeah.  Whatever else they’ve got to work out, they know what’s important.”

“So what now?”  Derek asked.  “We stopped the terminator and Jessie’s dead.”

“You ever thought of hunting?” Dean asked.

Derek smirked.  “Think I’ve heard of it before, something about the family business?”

“Sam?” JC asked.

“We were born hunters,” he said, looking at Dean with a small smile on his face.  “It’s time to hit the road and see what it brings.”  He looked over at JC then.  “You?  I mean, you have the whole savior of mankind thing to worry about.”

JC laughed at that, the slightly teasing tone of Sam’s voice.  “I don’t have a clue what’s going to happen next and I think I’ll take my chances as a Winchester.  One of the few things I do know is whatever comes our way, it’ll learn the Winchesters always go down swinging.  Judgement day or not, Mom had it right.”

JC stood next to Derek and smiled, an old memory swimming behind his eyes of a time when his mother had tried to handle the future on her own.  JC wasn’t alone though. He had his brothers and he had Derek and John and his mother.  Sam was smiling fondly at Dean, the light returning to his eyes, something stronger in his voice now that he was back with Dean, and Derek was watching him with a whole other world of memories JC had yet to live out. 

The words he knew Dean had carved into the picnic table top were a mantra, words carved into their hearts as well.  He was John Connor.  John Reese.  JC Winchester.  It didn’t matter which name he went by because it was all the same.  He was Sam and Dean’s brother, he was Kyle’s son and Sarah’s son and he was John Winchester’s son.  He would see fate changed no matter what name he went by.  Because – Sarah’s words, Kyle’s words - Dean’s words carved into the table were right.

There is no fate but what we make.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. All That Mattered

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah gave a swat to his arm and John smiled at her, forcing back the tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for the December Drabble Days

“You took care of him.”  
  
“Mostly, Dean.”  
  
Sarah gave a swat to his arm and John smiled at her, forcing back the tears.  It was a pitiful swipe but it’d been years since she’d been there, close enough to touch.  
  
“He’s strong, John.  And when did he get that tall?  And Sam?  Dean must have been furious when he shot up like that.”  
  
“It’s been a rough few years, but they’re doing alright now.”  He didn’t know for sure but he thought they’d all pull through now.   
  
They had Sarah back and that was all that mattered in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> First off, a huge thank you to the Mods of sncross_bigbang for putting this all together! 3 years in a row this has been one of the best collaborative processes I've had! Thank you! Next, to my awesome beta smidgeson who I gave this too last minute and still managed to work miracles! And then to my artist, surevesta who did such an amazing job with the art! Please check out her [ amazing art ](http://surevesta.livejournal.com/325953.html)and give her the love she deserves! She did so many beautiful images! I had the hardest time deciding what to use where!


End file.
